It's midsummer, it's hot and it's carnival time in Glen Burnie.
You may wonder why it is called the Big Glen Burnie Carnival. The reason is simple. We wouldn't want it to be confused with the community's newest event, the "Pretty Darn Small Glen Burnie Carnival" currently operating at my house.
(The fact that our county property tax bill -- complete with a 24 percent increase -- recently arrived in the mail has nothing to do with my decision to turn my house into a commercial enterprise.)
Granted we may not have the grandeur of the more popular carnival, but we like to think we're more creative. For example:
* The Bumper Cars: To be accurate, there is currently only one car -- a 1982 Buick Century -- but the shock absorbers are shot, making a trip to the 7-Eleven quite thrilling.
* The Practically a Ferris Wheel If You Close Your Eyes Ride: While seated in a very attractive lawn chair, riders are carried up and down the steps of the front porch.
* The 21061 Twirl-a-Whirl: Two swings have been connected to the ceiling fan in my living room. Discount coupons will be distributed to participants willing to attach dust mops to their feet to clean those hard-to-reach corners of the aforementioned ceiling.
Water rides have been postponed while we wait for the county health department to open Glen Burnie's creeks for swimming and water contact sports.
In addition to these amazing rides, various games are available to test your luck and skill.
One of the more popular games among the ladies is the "Can I Guess Your Weight???" booth. It operates like this: you give me $2. I estimate your weight (and everyone else's weight) at 124 pounds. You step on the specially programmed bathroom scale which announces you only weight 121 pounds. You don't get a prize, but who can put a price on increased self-esteem? All proceeds from this event will directly benefit my Nutri-System plan.
See you at the fair, Glen Burnie.
A group of Glen Burnie athletes is proving that age is not a barrier to success. The Arthurs Over Fifty softball team recently qualified for a national senior softball tournament in Scottsdale, Ariz. in September.
Organized by Art Airheart, this is only the second year the team has played together. Members of the team include Charles Miller, Bob Morris, Pete Peterson, Dick Bivens, Bill Morrison, Bob Scriba, Siebert Sloan, Charlie Gerkin, Carson Fincham, Chet Novak, Mike Keating, Tom Eialozynski, Ron Haun and Zeke Conover. Bob Gordon is the team's manager.
"A lot of people think we're ready for the rocking chair when we get up around this age," said Morrison, the team's first baseman.
Hardly ready to sit and watch, the team plays a minimum of two games a week. Weekends are generally set aside for tournaments.
Several members have played semiprofessional ball.
"We've been playing ball all of our lives," Morrison said. "You'd be surprised at the caliber of ball we play. The years took a little bit of speed off our game, but we can still hit the ball."
Morrison refers to a bumper sticker each of the players received from the World Championship Senior Softball association. It reads, "You don't stop playing because you grow old; You grow old because you stop playing."
No coach, I don't mind running another lap. No boss, I didn't have any plans for the weekend. Sure Scout leader, I'd be thrilled to sell another case of candy bars. I don't mind at all, if you would only be willing to have a seat up here on this . . . DUNKING BOOTH!!!
Wishful thinking? Maybe not. The Greater Glen Burnie Jaycees has two dunking booths for rent to organizations for company picnics, fund-raisers and end-of-the-season team parties.
For $75 and lots of water, your group's next party can be a big splash. A really big splash.
For information on rental availability, call 255-0773.
From 9 a.m. to noon Saturday, the Country Club Estates Recreation Association will play host to the Central Maryland Swim League Division VII Championships. Swimmers from Chartwell, Taneytown, Crofton Village and the Northeast YMCA will compete against teams from CCERA.
The community is welcome to watch as the athletes end their competitive swim season.
Country Club Pool is located at Paul Marr and Leymarr drives.
For information, call 761-0243 or 761-0317.
The West Anne Arundel County Chamber of Commerce will welcome members of the Northern Anne Arundel County Chamber for a joint Networking Night from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. tomorrow. Revere Printing, 8288 Telegraph Road, will sponsor the event.
Door prizes, refreshments and the chance to meet with dozens of other business owners is on the agenda.
Admission is $6 with a reservation or $10 at the door.
For information, call the NAACCC at 766-8282 or WAACCC at 672-3422.
Foursomes and individual duffers are invited to participate in the seventh annual Peroutka & Peroutka Golf Tournament, set for Aug. 30 at the Walden Country Club in Crofton. All proceeds will benefit Arthur Slade Regional Catholic School.
Registration will begin at 9:30 a.m., with a shotgun start scheduled for 10 a.m.
The $100 registration fee includes greens fees, a golf cart, beverages and a catered luncheon.
Prizes will be awarded for closest to the pin, longest drive and low foursome. To register, call 768-2280 or 766-8614.