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Royal Ruckus


With all the talk about "family values" coming out of the White House these days, you'd think our English cousins across the Atlantic would give a listen. But no: Britain's royal family seems bent as ever on scandal.

The latest fillip has Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York and estranged wife of the queen's second son, Prince Andrew, cavorting topless at pool-side with a 37-year-old Texas oil tycoon named John Bryan.

Photos of Fergie's dalliance created another predictable round of speculation over the future of the monarchy when they were splashed across newspaper front pages last week. Fergie, who separated from Andrew in March, had earlier insisted that her new companion was merely a "financial adviser." London tabloids gleefully reprinted the quote under pictures of the two spooning in the pool and generally carrying on.

These folks need to straighten up and fly right. If the royal family can't epitomize "family values," who can? Vice President Quayle has already given "Murphy Brown" and "The Simpsons" a piece of his mind. Dare he take on Britain's titled royals next? We say, "Give 'em hell, Dan!"

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