Dear Stadium Doctor:With all the opening-season hoopla,...


Dear Stadium Doctor:

With all the opening-season hoopla, fireworks have been conspicuously absent from Oriole Park at Camden Yards. Rumor has it that a city ordinance forbids it, yet there continue to be displays at the Inner Harbor and Fort McHenry. Can you shed any light on this?

Marie C. Brannan


Dear Marie C. Brannan:

Thank you very much for your letter and for eagerly spreading a rumor that might prove totally false. Not that it's any of my business, but have you ever considered a career in print journalism? If so, feel free to list Stadium Doctor on your resume, both as a reference and as your Amway distributor.

Now then. It looks as though you stumbled onto one of those exceedingly rare rumors, the kind that is true. See, fireworks shows aren't banned at the new ballpark. The Orioles actually had a post-game laser and fireworks display April 9. But the rules are tight. The fireworks shooter-offers can't do a lot of things that quite possibly might be construed as entertainment by the baseball-viewing public.

The fire marshal has a pretty good reason for this: He doesn't want a stray cinder burning down the B&O; warehouse, a problem they don't have at Fort McHenry.

*Dear Stadium Doctor:

With so much national media attention focused on Camden Yards and with highlights on ESPN every night, it seems to me that the stadium authority should use some of its advertising space on an unsold outfield wall and put up its own "NFL in Baltimore" sign. It couldn't hurt.

Joey Carlsten


Dear Joey Carlsten:

The first thing I thought when I read your letter was that you had a pretty good idea there, the kind I would very much enjoy passing off as my own if I were not intimately familiar with the penalties in this state for theft of a pretty good idea, which we can discuss another time.

Anyway, I didn't get to the bottom of your question/comment, but I did get near the bottom. As far as I can tell, nobody at the

stadium authority ever has asked the Orioles about putting up one of those NFL-type signs, even though what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me and could be the whole key to this expansion thing, if I may inject a purely personal opinion. Keep in mind this isn't something the stadium authority could pull off all by itself. The Orioles control all advertising inside the ballpark, so they'd have to go along.

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