They came, they saw, they ate their way through Glen Burnie.
We had weekend guests.
In what will come to be referred to in the future as a good idea gone somewhat awry, we played host to my two younger brothers and their friend -- for 94 hours (yes, I kept track).
Sitting in my living room, secure in the fact that they are either flying or driving to the land of orange juice and Mickey Mouse, I am able to take stock of the weekend's events.
The ice maker in the refrigerator is working overtime to fill the void in the freezer, we're pretty sure the dog will stop stuttering when she b-b-b-barks, and the only evidence of the $253 I spent on food at Leedmark are three hot dogs with freezer burn and a jar of olives.
No one likes olives.
As the realization that I'm not Carol Brady sinks in, I see with amazing clarity that perhaps entertaining is not my forte.
So for my friends and neighbors, I offer the Glen Burnie Neighbor's Guide To Hostess Survival.
1. Never let the fact that your guests are either friends or family deter you from viewing the visit for what it really is -- a period when they are enjoying a few days away from the normal grind of everyday living while you are grinding your teeth over their everyday living in your bathroom.
2. Only give your guests enough clean towels to last through their expected stay. Too many may subconsciously cause your guests to think that you enjoy playing Hazel, and maybe they should stay on a few more days.
3. Upon their entry to your home, secure a copy of their AAA Auto Club Card in the event their car breaks down in the rain at 2:37 a.m. in the parking lot of a seedy bar that you told them not to go near!!!!
4. After the third day of the visit, stop serving breakfast like you're a Bob's Big Boy franchise and dish out the Pop Tarts and Tang.
My brothers left on Monday, and oddly enough the house seems sort of empty without these big Labrador puppy-type of guys.
Good grief, I miss them already.
The road to improving your self-esteem may begin at a workshop sponsored by Moving On To Healthy Relating, set for Saturday at the Harundale Presbyterian Church. The session is scheduled from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., with a $30 per person fee.
Presented by Bradley S. Mauzy, a counselor and psychotherapist, the workshop is one step in the process of exploring an individual's perception of himself.
It is "a way of understanding how to separate our feelings," Mr. Mauzy explained.
Designed to accommodate up to 40 people, the seminars are directed at individuals as well as couples. Although M.O.H.R. has a strong connection with the religious community, Mr. Mauzy sees it as "a ministry of the church, but not a preaching group."
In addition to the quarterly workshops offered by M.O.H.R., there are sessions that meet weekly at the Epiphany Episcopal Church in Odenton.
To register for Saturday's workshop or for additional information, call 987-8900 or 721-5111.
New students and incoming sixth graders at Corkran Middle School are invited to attend an orientation from 9 to 11 a.m. Tuesday at the school. Parents are invited to an orientation at 7 p.m. that evening.
Principal Richard Kubatko will address both groups, answering questions about the upcoming school year.
Sixth-grade guidance counselor Branda Corran will be available to help with the students' transition. A tour of the building is on the agenda.
For additional information, call the school's guidance office at 222-6495.
Glen Burnie Senior High's new student orientation is scheduled for 7 p.m. Wednesday. Incoming freshmen and transfer students are invited to attend.
Principal Midgie Sledge and other members of the administrative staff will be present to answer any questions and conduct tours of the campus.
Advance registration is not required for the orientation. For additional information, call 761-8950.
Your physical health and general fitness will be addressed at a nutrition and fitness seminar offered by the Glen Burnie Jaycees at 7:45 p.m. Tuesday at the Glen Burnie YMCA on Central Avenue.
Jaycees and community members can discover how simple changes in diet and exercise can improve their general health and well being.
For information, call Tim Stevens at 647-4426.
Local business people can meet and exchange ideas and business cards at the August Networking Night, set for 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Aug. 27 at the Chesapeake Graphic Impressions' new location, 707 E. Ordnance Road.
Hosted by the Northern Anne Arundel County Chamber of Commerce, the monthly meetings offer the host company an opportunity to promote its products and services in a social setting. Visitors to Chesapeake Graphic Impressions will receive free memo pads and will have the chance to win one of three drawings for $50 worth of free printing.
There is a $6 fee with a reservation and a $10 fee at the door. Refreshments will be served.
Reservations can be made by calling 766-8282.
In the past, a crab feast only offered crabs and beer, but the Rotary Club of Glen Burnie will offer a menu to suit a variety of tastes at its annual crab feast, set for 6 to 11 p.m. Thursday at La Fountain Blue.
In addition to the traditional all-you-can-eat crabs and Maryland crab soup, the menu includes fajitas, Texas barbecue, pit beef, Italian cheese breads, filet of flounder, shrimp Creole, corn-on-the-cob, salads, cheese cake, beer and set-ups.
Music will be provided by the band Pizazz.
All proceeds will benefit North Arundel Hospital's Building fund.
Tickets are available for $27 but must be purchased in advance. No tickets will be available at the door.
For ticket information, call Pat Nichols at 787-4401.
It's "Bible Bowl" time at the Glen Burnie Church of the Nazarene, Westfield and Midland avenues in Margate. Bible school classes are scheduled for 10 a.m. to noon, beginning Monday and running through Aug. 28. School-age children are welcome to attend.
The week's activities will culminate with a special program Aug. 30.
For information, call the church office at 761-8110.
Rain or shine, the Ladies of the Knights of Columbus Holy Trinity Council 3413 will sponsor a flea market from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sept. 19 at the Columbian Center, 335 N. Ritchie Highway.
Tables are $10 each, and reservations are requested. For information, call 647-4467 or 761-5368.