There are snakes in the trees of Glen Burnie.
In the past two weeks we have found a large assortment of snakes in our yard. Two were discovered climbing (is slithering a more appropriate term?) up a tree and one sort of bungee-dropped on my sister during -- what has unfortunately become -- her final visit to my home.
Some 30 or 40 frantic calls to assorted government folks, zoo people and cooperative extension types has resulted in less-than-encouraging advice.
So far I've heard:
* The snakes are in the trees just trying to keep cool among the leaves while they snack on bird eggs. I've been assured they are not lying in wait to attack visitors who didn't have the forethought to carry an umbrella for protection.
* ALMOST all snakes in this area are non-venomous. Someone even sent me information on distinguishing venomous snakes from your friendly neighborhood snake. Of course this determination requires either eye-to-eye contact or a snake willing to roll over on its back so you can view scale patterns -- important details during a panic attack when the only thing you will remember is the word "almost."
* The theory that snakes are more afraid of me than I am of them. This is a lie.
* The most consistent response to the situation was to remind me how instrumental they are in controlling the rodent population. To which I must remind everyone that there is HHTC rodent that has FOUR major theme parks throughout the world and a clothing store chain. On the other hand snakes have some major public relations ground to cover.
Now before I hear from snake-lovers throughout the community, let me say this: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. I don't ever want to like snakes. I don't need to like snakes and nothing you say will change my mind. If the need arises, I will get Caller ID on my phone and I will report your phone number to thousands of real estate agents selling time shares in condos at Disney World.
Look up, Glen Burnie.
The weekly concert series tomorrow at the Arundel Center North will feature the country-western musical trio, the Paddyfields. The entertainment runs from 7 to 9 p.m.
Johnny Dark, one of Baltimore's most enduring radio personalities, will be on hand as the master of ceremonies.
Tomorrow's free program is part of a series of music concerts brought to the community by the Glen Burnie Improvement Association, Glen Burnie Urban Renewal, and the county Commission on Culture and the Arts.
Patrons are encouraged to bring lawn chairs or blankets. Refreshments will be sold throughout the evening. In case of rain, the show will be rescheduled. No show is scheduled next week because of the July Fourth holiday.
"Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames," a dramatization of a real-life evangelical effort, will be presented at the Calvary Church, 649 Old Mill Road, at 6:30 p.m., Sunday and again at 7 p.m., Monday and Tuesday.
Under the direction of Darryl Hare, a 50-member choir will perform in this musical-drama. Special sound and lighting effects will enhance the production.
Admission is free and open to the community.
For additional information, call the church office, 987-4714.
Three hours after school let out for the summer, my youngest son turned to me and said, "There's nothing to do," thereby setting a new Formwalt family standard for annoying mom.
Other parents, grandparents and child-care providers may want to check out the library's summer schedule of special events for preschoolers and children entering grades one through six.
An author, puppets, a storyteller and a magician are scheduled to perform at the library's North County Branch during the next few weeks as part of the Summer Reading Program.
Priscilla Cummings, author of the "Chadwick the Crab" series of children's books, will pay a visit to our branch, at 10 and 11 a.m. tomorrow. Cummings will discuss how she came to write the books and introduce some new Chadwick crab music.
A salute to the circus is the theme of "Clowning Around," with the Bob Brown Puppets. These talented puppets will juggle, fly on a trapeze, roller skate and dance as they entertain.
Performances are scheduled for 10 and 11 a.m. Tuesday.
Advance registration is not required, but seating is limited and will be available on a first-come, first-served basis. For more information, call 222-7371.
It's the dog (and cat) days of June once again at the Arundel Center North when the county Department of Health invites pet owners to participate in a rabies immunization clinic from 1 to 4 p.m. on Sunday.
There is a $5 fee to cover the cost of the vaccination.
For information, call William Scible: 222-7008.
Members of the Glen Burnie Jaycees will be at the Price Club on Ordnance Road from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday as part of their ID-A-Kid program.
Parents will receive a photograph of their child and a copy of their fingerprints to take home.
Last winter the Jaycees operated an ID-A-Kid program at Harundale Mall that resulted in the fingerprinting of about 220 children.
For information, call Eric Juergensen, 766-0378.
Seven months ago, my family and I were forced to relocate after a fire destroyed our home. Now, finally, we are going home again.
Many things about the house are different: new furniture, new carpets, etc. But it's the same neighborhood, where my husband spent his summers growing up as a child. (He still will slip occasionally and call it "the shore house.")
The only physical reminder of the house that stood there before are the stone steps leading to the porch. Somehow we couldn't bear to let the contractors tear them down.
So for the next two weeks we will try to settle in, to decide what cabinet we'll put the glasses in and where I'll hide the laminated picture of John Wayne that somehow made it through the fire.
My columns for July 1 and 8 will be written by Kathy DeGrange. If you have any information that needs to be published immediately, please call the Anne Arundel County Sun office, 761-1732, and someone will assist you.
I'm going home, Glen Burnie.