I'm sorry, what was the question?

If the workings of Gov. William Donald Schaefer's mind remain a mystery, don't blame the people who bring you the news. They're doing their best.

Consider his rambling answer to this simple question at a news conference last week: "Governor, on the state sport, which do you support: jousting or duckpins?"

Mr. Schaefer's ensuing monologue consumed several minutes and touched on these topics:

* The Christmas cards he sent to some of his critics.

* His ability to make the press look foolish. ("It is so easy.")

* His optimistic outlook on the economy.

* The bad rap politicians get. ("Everybody in public life doesn't hate everyone.")

* The WIC nutrition program for women and children.

* Hypocritical politicians.

* His unsuccessful effort to reorganize the health department last year. ("Got no place.")

* Foreigners who bash U.S. workers and executives.

* A newly unemployed woman who turned to volunteering. ("She was great.")

But no word on the state sport.

A real attention-getter:

Sen. Frederick C. Malkus knows how to get his colleagues' attention.

In a debate last week on a resolution requesting a U.S. constitutional amendment banning desecration of the flag, the senator from Dorchester County prefaced his defense of the resolution this way:

"We have a courthouse in Cambridge. Recently, I was a defendant in a paternity suit there -- and I lose. Because I disagree with that court's decision, does that mean I have the right to burn the courthouse down?"

Forget the leap of logic -- what was that about the paternity suit?

The 78-year-old senator later explained that he was simply a personal representative in the suit.

Gone to Vegas:

The House Environmental Matters Committee had planned to hold a hearing on the controversial "California Cars" emissions bill last Wednesday. But many of the chief critics of the bill, members of the car dealers association, had something better to do: their national convention in Las Vegas.

No problem. Del. Ronald A. Guns, the committee chairman, rescheduled the hearing for tomorrow, after the conventioneers return.

Real honest men:

Members of the House of Delegates know a golden opportunity when they see one.

During a Friday floor session, one of their number rose to ask if anyone had lost a gold watch -- one had been found recently.

Dozens of men shot up their hands. But Del. Marsha Perry, an Anne Arundel County Democrat, told her colleagues to relax -- it was a ladies' watch.