Be patriotic. Take a homeless person to Dolphins-Saints football practice at Memorial Stadium on Aug. 28, the hottest night of the year.

The Bush administration finally came up with a jobs program. For Soviet nuclear bomb makers.

Good news for Bill Clinton. They are talking up his sex life as if he were otherwise unstoppable.

Tell Saddam Hussein not to acquire any more weapons. The Pentagon isn't.

Cheer up. Congressman Cardin's better puppy bill will save us.