SHORT ON CHIC Some famous men fail to measure up on style

Bob Stern, president of Short Sizes Inc., a Cleveland-based retail and mail-order clothing company catering to men 5-feet-8-inches and under, has released his best- and worst-dressed celebrity list.

Here's the worst . . . and some catty comments, too:


* Director Woody Allen, 5 feet 7: "Thirty years later, he still looks like he just got off a psychiatrist's couch."

* Folk singer Bob Dylan, 5 feet 6 1/2 : "Still stuck in the '60s . . . and probably hasn't changed his shirt since then."


* U.S. Supreme Court Justice David Souter, 5 feet 7: "No wonder he wears a robe. His suits do him an injustice and lack appeal."

* Democratic presidential contender Paul Tsongas, 5 feet 8: "His suits speak louder than his words -- and say even less."

* Producer/director/actor Mel Brooks, 5 feet 6 1/2 : "With his nose for clothes, you'd say life stinks, too."

* Heavy metal star/brat Axl Rose, 5 feet 7: "Definitely not a rose in fashion. More like a thorn in your backside."

* Country singer/actor Willie Nelson, 5 feet 7: "A great guy . . . but why look like you owe the IRS 17 million bucks, too?"

* "Tonight Show" conductor Doc Severinsen, 5 feet 7: "His wardrobe isin a clash by itself."

* Actor Peter Falk, 5 feet 6 1/2 : "He looks like a soggy washrag flung in the far corner of the tub."

* Comic Sam Kinison, 5 feet 6: "In his seedy topcoat and deflated French beret, as obnoxious as his attitude."


For a copy of Stern's "Shop in a Catalog," those interested can send $1 to Short Sizes Inc., 5385 Warrensville Center Road, Cleveland, Ohio 44137.