Actor-comedian Bill Cosby says he's got "the body of Sonny Jurgensen, the arm of Terry Bradshaw, the brain of Warren Moon" and he's ready to play quarterback for his beloved, beleaguered Philadelphia Eagles.
Knee injuries sidelined quarterback Randall Cunningham for the season and backup Jim McMahon for four weeks, and substitutes Brad Goebel and Jeff Kemp have both suffered concussions.
"I couldn't cover the nut when the city was about to go under," Cosby told the Philadelphia Daily News. "But I'm looking at the Eagles, looking at my hometown team, and this is what I can do."
Cosby, 54, played halfback at Temple University and played one game at quarterback at Germantown High, a 7-0 victory during which his nose was broken.
Now he says he wants to paint his old leather helmet green and silver.
"My insurance is paid up," he told the Daily News. "My wife, Camille, wouldn't dare let me go out there without it.
"I've been practicing. Been going out to the park and throwing over trees because that's how tall they are.
"The only problem that might come up is figuring out the signs from the sidelines. I don't know what is bunt or steal or slide."
* 49ERS: Linebacker Charles Haley missed practice, one day after criticizing management and saying football wasn't fun anymore. Coach George Seifert said Haley's absence was because of the flu.
* STEELERS: Running back Tim Worley, the first player suspended for violating NFL drug policy this season, won't appeal his six-game suspension.
Worley, who has not played this season because of injuries and personal problems, is receiving treatment and counseling and probably will not rejoin the team this season.