Preakness spoken here THE NON-FAN'S GUIDE TO RACE WEEK


RACE AT A GLANCE: Ten brown horses vie for middle jewel of racing's Triple Crown in eerie backdrop to chaotic scene in infield, where security personnel use tear gas, attack dogs and high-pressure hoses to subdue unruly mob OD'd on Coors.

TODAY'S PROFILE: Whadjathink. Learning disabled colt appearing in nostalgia-tinged final Preakness before logical career move pulling hansom cab in New York's Central Park.

JOCKEY JORGE VELASQUEZ' DIET TIP: In lieu of fattening steaks, chops, etc., try dipping onion in warm water and drinking broth. Broccoli sprinkled with Sweet n' Low for dessert takes care of that sweet tooth.

HEARD AROUND THE BARNS: Pimlico czar Joe DeFrancis has suggested O's manager Frank Robinson use riding crop on players to rouse them from last-place torpor.

INFIELD UPDATE: Appellate court judge Eunice Malloy has barred the use of personal satellite dishes, although infield patrons can again bring stand-up freezers (2,000-pound limit), L-shaped sofa arrangements and regulation pool tables.

THIS DATE IN PREAKNESS HISTORY: Exercise boy Elvis "Hound Dog" Cantrell set record for most manure tracked into jock's room following 1972 workout of Riva Ridge. Cantrell soundly rebuked by track personnel ("You live in a barn?") and forbidden to use free onion broth machine. Both riding boots eventually donated to Racing Hall of Fame.

Preakness Week

* TONIGHT: Cardiac Arrest. Sheraton, Towson and Baltimore's Original Sports Bar, 34 Market Place. 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. Baltimore's prominent citizens are put "behind bars" and wait for bail to benefit the American Heart Association. 661-8000. Free.


* Michelob Nights. Water Street taverns. 5:30 p.m. to midnight. Outdoor dancing and live entertainment. 837-3030. Free with pin

* Spring Juried Exhibition. Gallery on the Circle, Annapolis. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. (301) 268-4566.

* Preakness Waiters Race. Harborplace amphitheater. Noon to 1:30 p.m. 332-4191. Free.

* A Day at Pimlico Race Course. Post time 1 p.m. Free admission with pin. 542-9400.

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