A DAINTY, MOTTLED cat paws at the dining room window of Sarah Ban Breathnach's Takoma Park home, asking to be let in. Perhaps she is thinking about sampling the tea and scones set out on the lace-draped table; more likely, she wants a caress behind the ears from the mistress of the house and author of "Mrs. Sharp's Traditions," a nostalgic book of Victorian family traditions, crafts and games.

"Victorians had a rich family life because they had seasonal traditions," says Ban Breathnach over a cup of tea. "It's so much to look forward to every year, giving both adults and children a sense of comfort and joy."

Easter and its commercialized bunny is an image we know well; what we don't know so well are the old-fashioned foods and crafts and symbols of the holidays in years past. Adding a dose of tradition to a holiday is something children and adults can both enjoy.

"Traditions are like recipes, they are not carved in stone," says Ban Breathnach. "Suit traditions to your family's taste. If you try a recipe and you take a lot of time and your family doesn't like it, you probably won't do it again. But if you try an easy recipe and everyone loves it, you are likely to try it again."

Ban Breathnach's easy attitude is echoed in the voice of her book's narrator, the fictional Victorianna Sharp. Mrs. Sharp is 125 years old with a dozen children to her credit-- unlike Ban Breathnach, who has just one daughter, eight-year-old Katherine, and a husband, Edward Sharp, who is the newly elected mayor of Takoma Park.

Mrs. Sharp, who guides mothers and children cheerfully through "crisscross days" and on "fairy walks," seems to be the model mamma. In truth, Ban Breathnach says that the hectic nature of her days differed so completely from Mrs. Sharp's she felt she was writing "science fiction." Still, she points out that a few lessons learned from Victorians can make anyone's home life sweeter.

"Victorians idolized home and believed the truest happiness lay in house and family," says Ban Breathnach. While industrialization was taking its hold outside the 19th century home, and bicycles and trains were carrying children to points beyond their mothers' eyes, the Victorians tried to create an ideal retreat at home.

Whether today's family is intact, blended through remarriage or headed by a single parent, Breathnach believes everyone can benefit by celebrating the rituals of life, ranging from family dinners to May Day celebrations. One of the easiest ways to draw children into seasonal celebrations is by building traditions during holidays they know.

"Holidays live more in the child's imagination. Kids love natural rhythms," says Ban Breathnach.

The Victorians liked Easter so much that they called it "Eastertide" and celebrated it for over one week. Germans brought us the concept of hunting for eggs and the Easter Hare, but the post-Civil War Americans shaped the holiday into a happy festival complete with egg-rolling and flower-trimmed Easter bonnets.

"Today, we just celebrate a holiday on one day and then wonder why we can't do it all or were depressed," says Ban Breathnach. "If we would spread it out, it wouldn't be so overwhelming."

Palm Sunday started Eastertide off in style in Germany, Austria, and Holland, with children wrapping leaves around crosses and parading through the streets. Throughout northern Europe and America, the week continued with egg decorating, using natural dyes from foods such as spinach, shredded raw beets, turmeric and blueberries. Hat decorating for mothers and daughters also was a pleasure, tying assorted ribbons, flowers, feathers and veiling atop plain straw hat bases for a fashionable debut in church on Easter Sunday. Egg hunts took place on Easter Sunday, after going to church. Easter Monday, the day after the holiday, was the best day for an egg roll, a tradition started on the grounds of the Capitol by Dolly Madison. To play, children rolled hard-boiled eggs they found down a sloping surface using a long-handled spoon. Eggs had to stay on a chalked path or the child was "out."

An old-fashioned taste of Easter is delicious, following the abstention of Lent. On Good Friday, two days before Easter, families bought or baked hot cross buns. Since the 14th century, the spicy currant buns, iced with a cross to symbolize the religious holiday, were given to paupers to impart protection. In the 18th and 19th centuries, street vendors sold them to the general population as good luck morsels, "one-a-penny" or "two-a-penny." Although hot cross buns are sold in bakeries throughout Lent, Ban Breathnach prefers to honor tradition by eating them only on Good Friday.

Another cherished custom in the Sharp household is a traditional Easter dinner celebrated on Easter Sunday with close family friends. The meal always features ham and asparagus, and a cake iced to look like a decorated egg. Throughout Eastertide, tea parties are a nice idea with the addition of lemonade, cookies and egg salad sandwiches. The parties are fun for children after hat decorating or egg-rolling.

Children of all ages enjoy assisting in the kitchen for special meals.

"The parent's attitude is important. Don't let them cook when you just want to get dinner done, because cooking with them will take twice as long," says Ban Breathnach. Viewing cooking as a planned activity is a better idea, especially if children feel they have a specific role.

"One of the things my daughter is enjoying is having her own cooking supplies," says Ban Breathnach about the small rolling pin, flour sifter and doll-sized springform pan, tart shells and muffin tins Katherine owns.

"Traditions do take time and beyond that, creativity. You can find short cuts. I love frozen puff pastry -- it saves time, and lets me bake with my daughter," says Ban Breathnach, who also recommends refrigerated dough as a basis for rolls and other baked goods.

Whatever foods you place on the table, the perfect centerpiece is an Easter egg tree, a popular decoration in the early 1900s, decorated by children with ornaments they made themselves.

Ban Breathnach's next project is a book called "Victorian Nursery Companion," due out in February 1992. The book will include recipes for nursery food, old-fashioned lullabies, and other child-rearing advice for the neo-Victorian mother.

Mrs. Sharp's Easter Egg Recipes

Home-made, environmentally safe egg dyes produce lighter, delicate colors than commercial dyes; be sure your child knows what to expect.

Raw eggs can be hard-boiled this way. We used eggs that had been blown-out so that we could hang them from our Easter egg tree for our photograph.

Place up to six eggs in the bottom of a pan, covering with the natural-dye materials, one to three cups of water (you may need more if its a big pot) and one tablespoon of cream of tartar or white vinegar.

Bring the the eggs to a boil, simmer gently for 15 minutes and then remove the pan from heat, leaving the eggs to sit in the dye bath for one hour. After that hour, remove eggs from water, let cool completely and brush with cooking oil to make them shine.

Dye suggestions:

For light pink eggs: Use two cups shredded raw beets or the juice and berries from a ten-ounce package of frozen raspberries.

For green eggs: Use two cups fresh spinach. Frozen spinach will not work.

For yellow eggs: Use one tablespoon of turmeric for each cup of water covering your eggs.

For bluish-lavender eggs: Combine one cup crushed, frozen blueberries and juice with one tablespoon vinegar, or using cotton twine, tie the outer leaves of a red cabbage around eggs to produce blue.

For brownish-orange eggs: Wrap the outer skins of red onions around eggs, securing using cotton twine.

To make an Easter egg tree, use a plain tree limb with many branches spray-painted white or a natural, flowering branch of cherry, dogwood or pussy willow. Plant the tree firmly in a heavy pot full of wet sand and stones, and place in a large basket surrounded by paper grass and painted wooden eggs. We surrounded our tree with gaily-colored Jordan's almonds.

To hang the decorated blown-eggs, string them on long lengths of embroidery thread, using all six strands. We threaded the eggs with extra-long needles, available in most sewing or quilting stores. Small beads or buttons can be strung on either end of the egg if the holes in the ends of the eggs are too big to "catch" the knot in the thread.

Mrs. Sharp's Hot Cross Buns

2 packages dry yeast

1/3 cup sugar

2/3 cup milk, scaled

3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, divided

1/2 cup melted butter

3/4 teaspoon salt

3 eggs, beaten

2/3 cup currants

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 egg white

Soften yeast in warm water, following directions on package. Dissolve sugar in scalded milk. Let milk cool, then combine one cup of flour, yeast, and milk-sugar mixture together. Beat together. Add butter, salt, eggs, and remaining flour. Hand beat until light (about five minutes). Cover with damp dish towel, set in a warm spot, and let rise until doubled (about one hour). Beat down and then add currants and cinnamon. Roll dough one-half-inch thick on a floured board. Shape into buns (or cut into circles using a small juice glass). Place on a greased baking sheet. Cover and let rise for about 30 minutes or until dough feels springy and is about double in size. Cut a deep cross in the top of each bun with a sharp knife. Brush with slightly beaten egg white. Bake at 350 degrees, in a preheated oven, for 12 to 14 minutes.

To make a glaze, dissolve four teaspoons granulated sugar in six tablespoons of milk and boil for two minutes. Brush warm buns twice with this syrup to glaze.