Read this column, lose 20 pounds fast and retire at 55 while earningquick cash!

Unbelieveable? You bet. And, no, I can't deliver on those promises, but Severna Park Jaycee Linda Sparks tells me that if I want my readers' attention, then I must use attention-grabbing headlines. It works so well in her public relations column in the Jaycee newsletter, "The Beacon," I thought I'd give it a try.


Long before some of us could even find Severna Park on the map, Benfield Elementary School was producing well-educated members ofthe next generation.

In the fall of 1992, Benfield will commemorate its 30th anniversary. In the process of preparing for the celebration, the PTA, with the help of a grant from the county Beautification Program, has drawn up plans for a handsome, brick sign for the school's front lawn.

To give everyone a chance to participate in the project, students and alumni are invited to "Buy a Brick." Contributions will be used for sign construction and landscaping.

For details, contact Carol Burke at 647-8939.


If you are an alumnus or student at Anne Arundel Community College, you are invited to submit your original all-media works of art for the May 20 to June 14 Alumni and Friends Art Exhibition.

The exhibit, to be displayed in AACC'sPascal Center for the Performing Arts, will be judged by Michael Bailey, director of the Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts.

Deadlinefor submission of two 2-by-2-inch slides is Friday, April 12. Three slides are permitted for each three-dimensional work, one slide for each two-dimensional work. Everyone is required to complete an entry card, and each artist may submit up to two works.

Total dimensions of three-dimensional work must not exceed 16 feet (height plus width plus depth). Weight must not exceed 50 pounds. Two-dimensional work must not exceed 144 inches (height plus width), including frame.

For further information, contact Jill Bateman at the Alumni Office, 541-2515.


The choir of Lebanon Valley College in Annville, Pa., will appear in concert Monday evening at 7 p.m. at Severna Park United Methodist Church.

The 54-member choir is part of the school's highly rated musicprogram.


Archbishop Spalding High School willpresent "Oklahoma" at 7:30 p.m. tomorrow and Saturday and at 2 p.m. Sunday.

Tickets are $5 for adults, $3 for students and senior citizens and may be purchased at the door.

A pizza supper will be available by advance reservation for tomorrow night's performance.

Forinformation, call 969-9105 or 261-2170.


Juniors and seniors at Archbishop Spalding High School will learn about community serviceprojects at a special program at 8 a.m. April 10.

During their last two years at Spalding, each student is required to perform 30 hours of communityservice, and each year all juniors and seniors volunteer a total of more than 3,000 hours.

Representatives from the Muscular Dystrophy Association, Sarah's House, Red Cross, North County Emergency Outreach and Woods Adult Daycare Center will speak. Afterward,questions from the students will be taken.

Organizations interested in this kind of assistance should contact Tom Miller at the schoolat 969-9105.


The Severna Park Elks No. 2482 will be honoringseveral individuals in the community Saturday night. The installation of officers and dinner-dance will start at 6 p.m. at the Elks Lodgeon Truckhouse Road.

The Elks' Anne Arundel Policeman and Firefighter of the Year will be honored as well as the Elk of the Year.

All Elks and their guests are invited. Tickets are $20 per person. The menu will include: prime rib of beef, baked potato, green beans, assorted rolls and butter, salad bar and dessert.

An open bar will be from 6:30 to midnight, and dinner begins at 7 p.m. Dancing to Bay Breeze will be from 8 p.m. to midnight.

Advance tickets only, call Jim Dubiel at 768-4110 or Jack Sipeat 849-2515.


In 1990, the SPCA of Anne Arundel County handled 1,977 cats, 1,430 dogs and 199 other small animals.

All of these animals had one thing in common: They woke up each morning with empty stomachs. Last year the humane shelter spent $5,500 to fill them.

In order not to turn any animal away, the decision was made years ago not to charge owners when they bring in their unwanted pets.

The board of directors has approved a no-frills budget for 1991. It is the only non-profit animal welfare agency in the county, and it receives no federal, state, county or cityfunds.

Instead, it relies on money from the community: fund-raisers, membership contributions, fees for services, bequests, trust funds and the generosity of donors.

Why not write a check -- of any size -- in honor of Easter and springtime and new life. Send it to: SPCA, P.O. Box 3471, Annapolis 21403.


The Severna Park Jaycees, with a roster of 69, has welcomed two new members.

Karen Allen, born and raised in Severna Park, is a dentist practicing at the Perry Point Veterans Administration Hospital. She is married to Stephen Allen. The mother of two small children, Megan, 3, and Michael, 7 months,Allen swears she has spare time, and in it she pursues her avocationas a professional horseback rider, along with camping and water sports. Whew!

Cindy Lesniewski is a native Marylander and mother of three: Chris, 14, Cathy, 9, and Kevin, 7. Lesniewski is a data processor with the state Department of Housing and Community Development. Herhusband is Joseph Lesniewski.


School vacation may be the furthest thing from your mind right now, but it is already time to sign up your youngster for summer camp.

The YMCA in Severna Park offersfive two-week sessions for children in three age groups.

Camp Kiddyhawk, for 3- to 5-year-olds, includes arts and crafts, drama, music, sign language, swimming, community exploration and plenty of outdoor play, from 9 a.m. to noon each day.

Designed for 6- to 8-year-olds, Camp Seahawk features the same activities as Camp Kiddyhawk, plusguest speakers, special day trips, including Sandy Point StatePark, and daily swimming lessons.

Camp Thunderhawk for campers ages 9 to12 is based at Sandy Point State Park. Youngsters are challenged by sand sculpturing, sports, games, orienteering and swimming.

For further information, call the Y at 647-3638 or 647-3800.


Missing: 1961 graduates of Severna Park High School. A 30-year reunion is planned for July, so if you know the whereabouts of your fellow classmates, call Charlotte Rader at 987-8271 or Gloria Rund at 544-2340.


Parents and students at Belvedere Elementary School enjoyed oneanother's company last week while they dined on pasta and all the trimmings at the school's annual Spaghetti Dinner.


A word to the wise parent comes from Jones Elementary School speech-language pathologist, Sandi Szuba.

She says that in this world where so many children spend so much time in front of the TV -- not communicating -- special attention should be directed at helping them develop the ability to converse effectively with one another.


All the happiness in the world to my friend, Lexie McCourt, who was recently marriedto her sweetheart, Russell Snyder.

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