Lately, we have gotten crankier about seeing advertisements that promise slimness and beauty with neither sweat nor effort. Sorry, we don't buy any of it. In fact, we're sick of all those promises. One of our loyal trend watchers says all of those suspicious promises are the result of a social disease. We all want instant gratification without having to pay the consequences.
So when the press kit from Slimsuit appeared on our desk, we simply were pushed over the edge. Slimsuit, designed by Carol Wior, is a swimsuit that guarantees it will "remove" through compression and redistribution an inch or more from the waist and stomach of the average or full-figured woman. It's even sold with a tape measure so women can check the results.
We have no doubt that this patented swimsuit does what it promises. We admit that we like the idea that our tummies can magically flatten and shrink. And we'd be the first to cheer if someone came up with panty hose that could magically shrink our thighs.
But we must face reality. If we continue to shovel Oreos into our mouths and take elevators instead of walking down two flights of steps, when we take off our Slimsuits, our tummies will bulge or we must suck in our guts. Imagine all those stomachs popping out across the country. Scary, isn't it?
In our hearts, we love the concept of the Slimsuit, but intellectually we want to shed this social disease. For those who are chronically afflicted, Slimsuits are sold through J.C. Penney stores and catalogs.
FIX YOUR GAZE ON BARCELONA: Barcelona is hosting the Olympics in 1992 and Seville is honoring the 500th anniversary of the discovery of America. Although Italy doesn't have to worry about losing its powerhouse position as a menswear leader, we have to admit that we liked what we saw coming from Spain for Spring 1991.
Trends from Spain for 1991 include: sluchy jackets, leather mixed with knitwear to add pizzazz or sleaze depending on your opinion.