After poring over the Adequate Public Facilities Act, its companion schools and road manuals and my favorite, the adequate facilities tests, I could appreciate what I saw on the wall in the county Department of Planning and Zoning.

It was on one of those plastic boards that you write on with a marker that wipes off, and it showed what happens to people after they spend too much time contemplating the Byzantine package of legislation.

First, one has to understand that the APFA introduced by County Executive M. Elizabeth Bobo may someday become the AFPO, which is an ordinance rather than an act.

There on the wall, I learned that one who continually lusts after such information is an APFOmaniac, while those who avoid it are practicing APFOnance. Allowed to indulge their weakness, APFOmaniacs have been known to suffer APFOplexy.

For those unfortunates, I learned, there is APFOholics Anonymous.

And on the other end of the spectrum, there are those who suffer APFObia, who can no doubt be cured with an APFOdisiac.

I was not the only "outsider" to notice the list, however.

Someone else ran APFOul of the APFOnyms and wrote this comment: "The most talent and creativity I've ever seen demonstrated by the department."

Signed, "Liz."

Copyright © 2020, The Baltimore Sun, a Baltimore Sun Media Group publication | Place an Ad