What cliffhanger? What suspense? Thanks to "Twin Peaks producers' merchandising and publicity avarice, many of the mysteries left open at the end of last season's abbreviated run have already been resolved. All you have to do is listen to "Diane: The Twin Peaks Tapes of Agent Cooper" and read Jennifer Lynch's "The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer" (exceptionally lurid and smutty, in case you were wondering).
They reveal, for example, that:
Agent Cooper survives the shooting at the door of his room at the Great Northern Hotel. (Standard-issue FBI bullet-proof vest.) Still, he's sore.
Josie Packard and Catherine Martell are missing in the aftermath of the fire at the Packard Saw Mill.
Pete Martell and Shelley Johnson survive the fire, suffering only smoke inhalation.
Leo Johnson is now paralyzed and mute from his gunshot wound.
Nadine Hurley messed up her suicide attempt.
Josie Packard was a prostitute in Hong Kong before coming to Twin Peaks and seduced Laura Palmer during their weekly English lessons. But then, who didn't dally with Laura?
And there are even more plot resolutions to be gleaned from this merchandise.
The season returns with a special two-hour premiere Sunday at 9 p.m. on WJZ, Channel 13.