With a white orchid in hand, Joan Eve Shea-Cohen, 73, stood outside of what used to be her antique shop in Ellicott City, which was blocked by a pile of rubble, an upturned sidewalk and the remains of a red brick path.
Hoping to mark a final farewell, Shea-Cohen and her friend of 18 years, Gary Weltner, tried to place the flower in what remains of Shea-Cohen's shop, Joan Eve's Antiques and Collectibles.
The ditch and debris before them made the final gesture impossible. Often, before torrential flooding Saturday devastated historic Ellicott City, Shea-Cohen set out a fresh orchid in her shop, a quaint business which sold hand-picked chandeliers, linens, jewelry and other antiques on Main Street for 16 years.
The store was housed in one of two buildings hit hardest by the deadly flood, leaving Shea-Cohen without a livelihood she spent years building.
Officials from the Federal Emergency Management Agency surveyed the damage Thursday, and the state plans to seek FEMA funds for disaster relief, Howard County Executive Allan Kittleman said, adding that it could take at least a week for Maryland officials to apply for relief.
The county plans to demolish the two buildings, which are nearing collapse.
"The building is condemned. All of those beautiful pieces are somewhere at the bottom of the river," Shea-Cohen said.
Kittleman estimated that the costs of Ellicott City's damage will be in the millions of dollars.
"We will do the demolition as soon as we can," Kittleman said of the buildings, which contain a mix of commercial and residential space. "We're not taking it lightly. We understand public safety. We certainly don't want it to fall in and dam up the river and cause problems to somebody else, but at the same time we are going to respect the property rights of those individuals."
The loss of her store is hitting Shea-Cohen hard. Her brother, Larry Becker, a prominent Baltimore orthopedic surgeon, died in a car accident in January, ending the daily 7:30 a.m. phone calls the two always shared.
"When I lost him, I thought there could be nothing else that would happen to me that would be that bad," Shea-Cohen said, in tears. "This not that bad. It can't compare to losing my brother. This is stuff, this is things. It still hurts. It hurts so bad. It's a different kind of grief."
'All I have is my reputation'
Shea-Cohen says a guardian angel saved her on Saturday, the night nearly six inches of rain fell on Ellicott City, triggering cascading floodwaters.
The shop was having a good sales day. Two women, first-timers in a store that has a dedicated clientele, bought glassware and vowed to return.
When the air conditioning stopped working, Shea-Cohen closed up at around 6 p.m.
She changed her shoes, thinking the sky was delivering "just another hard rain" and drove away from Main Street.
Her neighbors described a car crashing through her store, giving way to a current of water that carried away all of Shea-Cohen's inventory, including china, lamps and hand-painted Bohemian lusters.
"My 1973 sculpture of Calypso, the goddess of the sea, is probably sitting back in the sea right now for all I know," Shea-Cohen said.
The owner hand-picked her collection through the years. Family members of people who died, as well as residents downsizing their antique collections, often asked Shea-Cohen to buy their items.
"I would go out to people's homes and pick the cream of the crop myself. I never had to go to major auctions and estate sales," she said.
On Feb. 1, 1996, Shea-Cohen decided to settle down after having worked retail jobs in five different states.
A friend was visiting Main Street to sell her mother's things. Shea-Cohen joined her. Attracted by the charm of the old town, Shea-Cohen decided she wanted to open an antique shop on the street. What started as a jointly operated booth with her friend at Antique Depot in Ellicott City turned into an established business.
She rented a small spot on the edge of Main Street, away from much of the foot traffic, for 12 years. When a spot opened in the middle of Main Street, she was the first to sign up as a potential tenant. In November 2014, she opened the latest Joan Eve's Antiques and Collectibles.
"It was the most beautiful location," Shea-Cohen said. "When you have something to do, you wake up with purpose. It was never work for me. I had such a wonderful clientele."
Retail is "strong in her blood," she said. Her parents owned a retail store in Baltimore.
The future is uncertain. Shea-Cohen said she is still trying to let reality sink in.
She doesn't plan on taking a guided tour to visit what remains of her building.
"It's gone. It doesn't matter who tears it down. It's gone," Shea-Cohen said.
Weltner, 61, often helped Shea-Cohen restore antiques and designed her shop. Bound by a shared love for antiques, Weltner said he is confident Shea-Cohen and the town will pick back up.
"We had so much fun being together," Weltner said. "We laughed and we talked about life. She has such a positive outlook about life."
Weltner said he witnessed the town come together after Hurricane Agnes in 1972.
"It may have a very different face, but it will come back," he said.
Shea-Cohen said her heart goes out to Main Street's residents and business owners, who have formed a tight-knit community across the years.
As she contemplates her shop's future, she reminds herself of an Asian poem that used to sit in her father's desk.
""It said, 'What you have left and what people remember is your reputation.' That's what I have left."