Armed with a business proposal and her typical fearlessness, architect Karen Pitsley prepared to meet with bank president Mary Ann Scully in a bid to fulfill a dream.
A sounding board
Pitsley appreciated Scully's effort to protect her best interests and took her out to lunch. She asked Scully to be her mentor, and they embarked on a different sort of partnership.
The pair soon began meeting quarterly in 2009 so Pitsley could bounce around ideas, seek advice and generally pick Scully's brain. They still meet twice a year.
"There was always some nugget that she would impart that I hadn't thought of, and that I was able to take and implement," says Pitsley, a married mother of two.
But after acquiring only four franchisees, she decided last year to finally stop chasing what had turned into an elusive entrepreneurial dream.
"Franchising architects was kind of a stupid idea in hindsight," she says with her usual candor. "I was investing 50 percent of my time in franchising and 50 percent in my business, and neither was doing well. I tried to make it work, but it was sucking the energy out of me."
Despite her disappointment with the ultimate outcome, Pitsley feels she has learned so much from Scully's input that she wouldn't trade any part of the experience … well, maybe the failing part, she adds with a laugh. She took the failure hard at the time, she confesses.
"The whole reason I asked Mary Ann to be my mentor was that I knew what she had accomplished and I valued her business sense, knowledge and wisdom," she says. "She could give me a big-picture view of where I was, and I'm a big-picture thinker."
Scully says Pitsley was at a crossroads in her career when she approached her and that's what had spurred the young entrepreneur to seek out a sounding board.
"She was going to head down a path that I thought might not be in her best interest, but I gave her what advice I could to help her succeed and prove me wrong," Scully says. "Karen gives me more credit than I deserve because she has all the right ingredients to be successful."
Scully says she chooses mentees carefully and has turned down requests "when the timing or the fit with my area of expertise wasn't right." She is currently mentoring two other women.
"Karen and I have a level of trust and mutual respect," she says. "I respect what she has done and her initiative. We have been able to have very honest discussions, and it doesn't always happen like that."
The sky's not the limit
Scully says there's a reason women seek out other women.
"Women are thoughtful and intent about their career growth and receptive to helping other women," she says. "These relationships can provide a substitute for the good ol' boys' network.
"Howard County is a place where people get to know each other because they work together in the community in so many ways," not only in the workplace but on nonprofit boards and the like, she says. "It's fertile ground for building mentor-mentee relationships."
Laura Kittleman, co-partner with husband Tom Yeatts of the Kittleman Group real estate agency, took on a special mentee in 2012 — her daughter, Lisa, 26.
"The biggest thing we've learned is to separate our personal and professional lives as much as we can," says Kittleman, who is Howard County Executive Allan Kittleman's sister.
"Being a mentor is about being encouraging, obviously, but it's also about modeling a positive state of mind," she says. "You become what you think about all day long."
Lisa Kittleman wholeheartedly agrees.
"Growing up, my mom taught me that the sky's not even the limit," she says. "Having her allow me to not be afraid of taking risks — and real estate is a high-risk, high-reward business — has given me the confidence I need to succeed."
Connecting the dots
Linda Ostovitz, a family law attorney and president of the Business Women's Network of Howard County, says that women who put a premium on other women's advice should consider joining its 130 members, most of whom are small business owners.
The organization, which was founded as The Women's Network in 1979, "is all about business women mentoring other women," she says. Scully and Pitsley have each been named a Woman of Distinction by the group.
Scully offered advice for anyone considering becoming a mentor.
"The best way to add value to the relationship is to get out of whatever box you're normally in and think very specifically about what the other person needs and what you can provide, and then connect the dots," she said.
Pitsley says her emotionally and professionally lucrative mentoring experience with Scully has led to another realization: she enjoys mentoring others and highly recommends it.
"I love meeting with people, figuring out their hopes and dreams and getting out what's inside their heads," she said.
"Mary Ann was meant to be my mentor, not my banker," Pitsley concluded years ago. "My advice to young women starting their careers is to find a mentor. They can give you a really big slap upside the head when you need it most."