The main problem with January is that it occurs precisely when the holidays are over. All of the anticipation and excitement of spending time with family and friends is over; the exchanging of good wishes and gifts has also come and gone.

We are left with a palpable sadness: a "touch of Malaysia," as someone dear to me once said with a straight face - a malapropism for the phrase "a touch of malaise." Now, whenever I get the blues, I remember that it is probably just a touch of Malaysia, and I instantly feel better.

Nonetheless, I know that many of us struggle with this cold, dark season of undecorating. Combined with the sending off of college students for their second semesters, the uncheery paying of bills and the relentless rise of the numbers on the bathroom scale, it can be a dismal period.

No more!

Because we at Janet's World have discovered that what the post-holiday season is really missing is something to look forward to, something that imparts some meaning to the tiresome tasks of January. What we need is a new holiday with some snappy traditions that will ease us into the winter months and lift our spirits.

So let us all come together - people of all faiths, backgrounds, races and ages - and gear up to celebrate the festival of "Febumerry."

For starters, we are going to get rid of that ridiculous, unnecessary first "R" in the spelling of the second month of the year. No one really pronounces it anyway, and it only results in a lot of substandard grades on second-grade spelling tests.

Then we'll kick off our monthlong carnival atmosphere by greeting each other with a simple "Happy Febumerry" on Feb. 1. For the exceptionally clever, try: "Have a very Febumerry."

Also, why not accessorize with something small that's shiny or gaudy on the first day? This spreads the Febumerry message that even though you have taken down your holiday decorations, you are embellishing yourself. In a way, you are actually fortifying yourself for the possible bleak weeks ahead predicted by that downer, Punxsutawney Phil. Make no mistake; he is no mascot for Febumerry. He is much too prickly and antisocial.

Febumerry needs a lively, huggable creature, and that is why you can send photos of your pet wearing something shiny to me at janet@janetgilbert.net for consideration as the official Maryland Febumerry mascot. I will post these photos on my Web site so you can vote and comment, but it really won't matter because the Janet's World Febumerry Commission will make the final decision and announce the winner Jan. 31. And then our marketing department will sell small, ugly resin replicas of your pet for $19.99 plus shipping and handling.

Naturally, Febumerry needs its own food style - the preceding months' copious cookies, cakes and candies move aside for ... the crockpot! The crockpot is the official cookware of Febumerry, bringing easy, cozy, comfort meals to the table. Serve a stew and see how it soothes nerves frayed by standing in aggravating lines throughout January to return odd or duplicate holiday gifts.

Which brings us to the gift-giving aspect of Febumerry: Fortunately, you don't have to go out and buy things. Instead, you are encouraged to stay inside and clean out your closets, basements and garages so you can donate items to those in need.

This is the centerpiece of Febumerry - the heartfelt sharing of your stuff. Because, let's face it, you have a lot.

My dapper neighbor, Ttam Renrel, whose name has been spelled backward for privacy, exhibits the true Febumerry spirit year-round, sending over his gently used, top-shelf dress shirts for my college-age son who shares the impossible-to-find 36-inch sleeve length. What could be Febumerrier?

So, let us look forward to Febumerry and celebrate. The coming of Febumerry means a lot.

Best of all, it means that January is almost over.