Even having this revelation, it was a few years before my antics would really catch up with me. What I found through experience was that as long as I was properly medicated, be it by a few drinks, a few pills, or a couple puffs; I could be anyone I wanted to be. I could be the energetic, lively and charismatic life of the party. I could be calm, cool and collected under pressure, the man to go to when things got weird. I could be romantic, flirtatious and womanizing. I could be everything and anything I thought you wanted me to be (so long as I had my medicine).