T
he safest time to fly is right after a plane crash, or so the saying goes.
Chipotle had an E. coli outbreak. Yes, the whole world knows.
Last week, you could text the company for a lunchtime rain check for a free burrito because a company-wide food safety and safe-handling seminar had every one of Chipotle's locations closed for the better part of a day.
Quite candidly, I was still eating Chipotle during the outbreak. But, if you're feeling like the Notorious B.I.G. and you just "want that ol' thing back," the coast is clear. Get over your irrational fear and go get back in line. Or don't. The shorter lines have been a great byproduct of the outbreak and fallout in follow-up thereto, especially for us die-hard fans.
There are weeks where I eat Chipotle no fewer than four or five times, sometimes as many as six or seven. Insert the inappropriate drug-related reference here, but, while I'm well aware of the addictive parts of my own personality, even I can't explain my Chipotle obsession.
Variety may be the spice of life, but a burrito bowl from Chipotle is my daily bread, almost literally.
What's worse is that while the ol' world-wide-webs will tell you there are somewhere in the neighborhood of 65,000 potential ways to build your burrito-related combinations at Chipotle, nowhere am I more of a creature of habit than when it comes to ordering the same burrito bowl, the same way, almost every day.
And, to those of you still staying away — in as much as the age old adage above holds true, there's never been a safer time to jump back on the burrito (bowl) bandwagon.
Chipotle doesn't pay for athlete endorsements. It doesn't need to. Nonetheless, Chipotle, at least before the now-infamous outbreak, quickly became the QSR destination du jure for many an elite and professional athlete — and for good reason. The company does do an athlete and celebrity seeding program, giving a Chipotle gold card to a certain small list of A-list celebrities that entitles said celebrities to a burrito (bowl) every day for a year. Talk about the perfect Christmas present, and the "gift that keeps on giving all year long!"
There was always something disingenuous about elite-level athletes endorsing Burger King, McDonald's, Coke and/or Pepsi. But — and while admitting I may have succumbed to a bit of the marketing sleight of hand that is the overuse of words with sliding-scaled definitions like "organic" and "non-GMO," etc. — there seemed to be something true-ish in Chipotle's dedication to and use of things like "responsibly raised meats" (despite that one being a term which they've trademarked, so who knows what "responsibly raised" really means.
Success breeds critics, and great success brings with it the harshest of the same. There are those who have taken great pleasure in Chipotle's recent food-borne illness related PR nightmare, stock plummet, and popularity problem — including calling into question the reality versus lip service of Chipotle's healthy, "responsibly-raised," "organic," "non-GMO" claims of good-for-you-ed-ness.
Call me a fan, or maybe more appropriately, an addict, but, sans the over-sized scoop of sour cream (I usually ask for "just a little"), I'd put a (double) chicken burrito bowl's nutrition panel up against just about any other fast-ish food and/or lunchtime QSR chain's option any day of the week – and I do, almost literally.
Most of us live the sort of daily lifestyle paradox that is spent sedentary while simultaneously on-the-go. And, for those of us (used-to-be-athletes) that have been carrying the proverbial and/or literal "extra 30(ish)lbs" of "winter weight" for three months, err, years (plus) now, every little bit helps. Most of our metabolisms aren't what they used to be.
Long before Chipotle, I was a sucker for Taco Bell's Double Decker Taco Supremes. I would order five at a time. I would do this once every six months or so because, well, that's just not good for you. The order would cost almost $13. That was probably six or more years ago. Spending $13 is like spending, well, it's probably like spending $13 at Five Below. It's a sign of over-spending; certainly of over-eating.
(Full disclosure: I may make my way to a Taco Bell again soon. That new "Quesalupa" looks incredible!)
So, athlete, addict, or just a casual QSR consumer — if you've taken a break, been on a self-imposed, fear-fueled fast, and/or moved-on because of the cautionary or shade-throwing news clippings — it's time to come back 'round. Maybe you're big into (or on) social media, in which case you could Tweet something creative like "#don't_call_it_a_comeback" at @Chipotletweets.
I'm not sure what the big deal is about someone serving breakfast all day. Was there really such a big demand for it? I don't see long lines at IHOP at 12:30, or at 8 p.m. for that matter. Besides, isn't breakfast for lunch already a thing? I think it's even got a name. It's called "brunch," and it's usually reserved for the weekends. The same can be said for breakfast for dinner, right? I mean, we all get the occasional craving for a little "brinner."
But, "brinner" cravings are so less frequent that that's not even a real meal. It definitely doesn't have its own menu. It may not even be a real word; more of a portmanteau. Apparently last Tuesday, Fat Tuesday, was national (or international) Pancake Day. It was the first time I'd had pancakes for dinner ... since I was a kid, maybe. But, you'd better believe I had a burrito bowl because, as they say, "It was a day that ended in 'Y,'" after all.
Skip the breakfast for lunch, especially that of the McMuffin-ed variety. Mc-Marketing may be a well-oiled machine, but a Chipotle burrito (bowl) for lunch will be much more satisfying — and, unless I've fallen victim to "responsibly-raised" marketing, it will be better for you too. Same can be said for dinner. Go burrito (bowl) over a Big Mac, Whopper, or a box-o-faux chicken when you're on the go in the p.m. too.
Just like in the movies, the outbreak is over. Order has been restored. Now go back and get in that Chipotle line. They're bound to be forming again any day now.
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