As the new year begins, I won't offer a list of resolutions. Instead, here's another installment of pet peeves that make me grind my teeth.
The NFL. I resent its overwhelming popularity, despite that it's a millionaire's club that unexplainably enjoyed decades of tax-exempt status until last April; has hypocritically accepted huge sums of money from the military to stage those "salute the troops" patriotic pageants at halftime; had to be coerced by the courts to pay cheerleaders a decent wage; and, for far too long, fought investigations into the long-term effects of concussions on its players. All of this tawdry behavior is on top of the owners making money hand-over-fist on exorbitant ticket prices, TV licensing, concession sales and ridiculous parking fees. Need I also mention their extortionary threats to get cities to build new stadiums on the backs of taxpayers … or else?
The NFL again. I'm not finished. Did you know that the NFL doesn't pay the artists who perform during the Super Bowl's halftime ceremony? That's right. They get the likes of Bruno Mars and Beyoncé to perform for free, figuring it will be a good promotional opportunity for them. In fact, in 2014 the NFL tried to find an artist who would also agree to turn over some subsequent touring income or make "some other type of financial contribution" to appear. They got push-back from the eventual choice, Katy Perry, but don't think they will stop trying. Both Scrooge and Mr. Potter of "It's a Wonderful Life" could take a few lessons from NFL team owners today.
WCBM. Its far-right commentators love to carp about the "low-information voters" who elected Obama. Then the station cuts away to commercials for male potency pills that also dissolve belly fat; companies that can save you from bankruptcy and improve your "0" credit rating; and gold investments. I am pretty sure these advertisers know who the low-information voters really are.
Youth sports organizations that schedule games and meets on Sunday mornings, effectively killing any chance for church attendance. Parents are forced to make a choice, and this doesn't work out well for either churches or the moral well-being of children. Saturdays and Sunday afternoons don't provide enough time?
Comcast. Just because it is a new year doesn't mean that it is again time to raise rates when my service hasn't changed one iota. And when do I get a credit for all of those service outages? And why are you dragging your feet in helping the Community Media Center upgrade its equipment for the digital age?
People who are quick to compare a politician to Hitler or his ideas to Nazism, Communism, Fascism, or any other "ism" that has scarred history. That's like comparing a camp fire to a forest fire. Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Vlad the Impaler, Attila the Hun and their ilk were in a league of their own, and let's keep them there.
Robocalls from sources like "800-Service" and "Anonymous." They never leave a message, and if you try to answer, there is often no one there. Besides, who in their right mind would accept a call from "Anonymous?"
Constitution defilers. Have you noticed that the political party that's always trumpeting the sanctity of the Constitution frequently wants to change it, from amendments "to curb a lawless Supreme Court" (Rubio) and ban abortion and birth control (Huckabee), to establishing a "national standard for marriage" to thwart same-sex marriages (Santorum)? These are perverse ways to show respect for the integrity of the nation's key founding document.
Urgent pleas from two Republican candidates during the Dec. 15 debate to "take back our country." Take it back from whom? A GOP-leaning Supreme Court, a Republican Senate and House, 32 governorships, and two-thirds of state legislatures aren't enough to do what you want? Boys and girls, can we say, "dysfunctional?"
Old guys, like me, who stew about the past and can't look ahead to the promise of a new year.
Frank Batavick writes from Westminster. His column appears Fridays. Email him at fjbatavick@gmail.com.
