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Sprinkle: Haircare perils of political prima donnas Pelosi, Lightfoot | COMMENTARY

Yet another liberal elitist caught in her own web.

Burt Prelutsky, screenwriter, newspaper columnist, and author, has described the current state of liberal affairs: “If liberals didn’t have double standards, they wouldn’t have any standards at all.” Such appears to be the case of Nancy Pelosi and Lori Lightfoot and their involvement in the haircare caper of 2020.

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Although the combined arrogance and narcissism of these two leftists tends to set my teeth on edge, there’s something downright, delightfully amusing about the whole escapade and the verbal gymnastics they employed to “explain.” The political prima donnas who set the rules for the proletariat and then surreptitiously crashed them for their own convenience. Busted!

Between Pelosi and Lightfoot, and their trials and tribulations of routine female haircare in the age of COVID-19, I’m not certain which of them more readily triggers the guffaw reflex.

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Pelosi, apparently sufficiently naïve to be lulled into the web of believing that she carried enough political clout to silence any potential whistleblower, learned that her stealth had been caught on camera on Aug. 31 and released to the public. There she was — in a San Francisco hair salon —in her wet hair and her waterproof smock, towel slung over her left shoulder. What was clearly absent from the video was her mask, the cornerstone of her lectures to the American people.

And you can bet that wasn’t Pelosi’s first trip to the salon. A woman who can’t (or won’t) shampoo and blow-dry her own hair isn’t likely to tackle covering the gray without the benefit of a colorist.

So how does a liberal disentangle herself from her own web?

First, deny responsibility (otherwise known as — plead stupidity). According to Pelosi, the salon told her that it was in compliance with local regulations. But was it not she who not only should have known, but should have informed the salon that her visit would be a violation of municipal ordinance?

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Second, play for sympathy and accuse the salon of conspiracy: “It was a setup!” (Pelosi would know; she has substantial knowledge and experience concerning the topic.)

Third, act defiant and indignant: “They owe me an apology!” Paraphrased: “I’m the victim!”

Enter Lori Lightfoot.

She defended her Chicago “stay home, save lives” violation in April: “The woman who cut my hair had a mask and gloves on so we are, I am practicing what I’m preaching.”

I suppose we could credit Lightfoot for having had at least that much sense. But then she opened her arrogant mouth again: “I’m the public face of this city. I’m on national media and I’m out in the public eye. I’m a person who, I take my personal hygiene very seriously. As I said, I felt like I needed to have a haircut. I’m not able to do that myself, so I got a haircut.” Paraphrased: “Take that, you peasants!”

So here we have the tale of two women, one a U.S. congresswoman who lives in a city where homelessness abounds and too many of the streets resemble open sewers in a third-world country, and the other a mayor of a major U.S. city where “Gunfight at the O.K. Corral” plays out daily in the streets. There appears to be little doubt about their priorities.

I honestly do not begrudge either Pelosi or Lightfoot for wanting to care for their hair. (I know the feeling; I haven’t seen my colorist since late February, and my “natural” blonde is in dire need of reaffirmation.) What does anger me, however, are lectures from these duplicitous women, their sense of entitlement, and their unintentionally exposed message to the American public that rules apply only to “lesser” citizens.

Perhaps the moral of the 2020 haircare saga is this: If you want to play the political priss in the middle of a pandemic, you may want to use your head (separate and apart from your hair) and avoid the angst of possible discovery by summoning the stylist to your own home where, presumably, there are no cameras and no blabbing witnesses.

M.K. Sprinkle writes from Hampstead. Her column appears every other Saturday. Email her at sprinklemk@comcast.net.

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