Letters: Cautionary tale when loved ones need care amid crisis; Our governor is a flower, the president a weed

Cautionary tale when loved ones need care amid crisis

My husband Richard (Dick) Toms died April 9 at Carroll Hospital. He had spent a month in University of Maryland Hospital for open heart surgery, and was released to come home to me and home caregivers on March 24. He was home for a week doing good, then the second week he started to get weak, and feeling bad. I also, started to feel sick. Aches, pains, slight fever, no smell or taste, etc. On the seventh day after my husband was home I had to call 911, because he was so weak. I could not help him get out of his chair to his walker. When the EMTs took him away, I did not know that it would be the last time I would ever see him.

I wasn’t allowed to come to the hospital. I tried everything to get to see him or deliver a picture of me so he wouldn’t feel so alone. I was told no. So, before you call 911 or go to the hospital, keep in mind you may never see your loved ones again. Worst of all, your loved one may die alone. If possible send an iPad or smart phone with your loved one so you can at least video chat, with the help of the nurses. 


I had a wonderful patient advocate and nurse that set up a video chat just before he died. These two wonderful women were with my husband, and I was so grateful for all they did. The doctor explained in writing to my husband, that they had done all they could. The doctor had to write it out, because my husband was hard of hearing. He chose for them to keep him comfortable. While on video chat I told my husband I understood. My heart was being ripped out. The love of my life was alone and dying. I was called by the doctor a few hours later and told my husband died.

This should never happen to anyone!


As for me, I recovered, but could not have anyone around me for two to three weeks. My son came over with groceries, and he and I talked on our phones while seeing each other through the window.

Also my neighbor took me under her angel wings and fixed me breakfast and dinner every day until my strength returned. She got my mail, paper and took my trash out. I feel so grateful for her kindness. I couldn’t have recovered from all of this, if it weren’t for all the outpouring of concern and love from family and friends.

Sharon Toms


Our governor is a flower, the president a weed

I’m sure it was unintended, but M. K. Sprinkle, in her April 25 Times Opinion column
(“Save the criticism until after the coronavirus crisis has passed”) wielded a double-edged sword when she gave us two stories about criticism of others.

The title of the column told us that we should not be criticizing our leaders during this crisis. But near the end she described a political cartoon which criticizes the “breying donkeys” who criticize our president “D.J.” for not doing enough to fight the coronavirus problem. An obvious cut against Pelosi and other Democrats who demand more when he already gives a lot. 

But, previously, in the backstroke to that final cut she told us the cute poem of the seed in the garden who found criticism with all the beautiful flowers but learned the next day that it had sprouted into a lowly weed. That story aptly describes D.J., but I’m sure she didn’t intend that. Just look at how he has spoken of Gov. Larry Hogan recently, but there are many other examples. He can’t hold back on criticizing others while trying to enhance his own image. Do you want that see in your garden? 

Criticism of our political leaders knows no season!

Dave Libershal


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