Community Voices: Comic page or Opinion page? Nothing funny about what’s going on l COMMENTARY

The comic pages of the newspapers seem to have moved to the opinion page. Many of the letter writers and op-eds are truly hilarious, trying with all their might to spin the disgraceful performance of the Current Occupant of the White House (COW) to make it appear a success. There appears to be a concerted effort by these surrogates to make it appear that there is more support for the COW than there actually is.

Like Frank and Ernest, these spin doctors call any failure a triumph. Another adviser or cabinet official fired or jailed becomes evidence of the COW’s strong leadership. Failure to make good on the repair of our infrastructure (remember that “trillion-dollar public-private partnership” he promised?) is just evidence of other priorities. How about “repealing and replacing Obamacare?” Even with majorities in Congress for two years, the COW couldn’t come up with a single good idea to improve it, but he is still trying to deprive millions of people of their health care through the courts. That, of course, is “Promises Made, Promises Kept.”

You can recognize these opinion writers when they call anyone who doesn’t agree with them “leftist.” By their standards, about 98% of us fit that category. They don’t get their news from the “mainstream media,” those biased conspirators such as the Washington Post, PBS, CNN, ABC, NBC, The New York Times, CBS, NPR, or that radical leftist rag, the Carroll County Times. Those purveyors of “fake news,” that is, “facts,” aren’t really competing with each other for readers, viewers, clicks, and ad dollars. All of those reporters, editors, fact-checkers, and producers aren’t really interested in the truth or just getting the facts right. They are all being paid by some liberal billionaire (is it George Soros this week?) to advance a leftist agenda. Isn’t that hysterical?

Like Ziggy, some of these writers must be talking to space aliens, because their views are out of this world, certainly not from planet Earth. To hear these writers, you’d think the only reliable news comes from Fox, the cable outlet owned by that great and patriotic American, Rupert Murdoch and his family. But wait, there’s more! Murdoch is an Australian billionaire, with no loyalty to the U.S. and not much to Australia, either. His interest is in how much money he can make by spouting propaganda and selling ads aimed at the true believers, those who want to believe that Republicans are always right and Democrats are always wrong. If they will buy the claptrap on Fox, they will buy anything.

Like the sportscasters in Tank McNamara, these observers are watching a game that just isn’t there. They think the COW’s response to the pandemic has been a great success. No matter that our country has the most cases and the most deaths anywhere in the world, with the totals rising rapidly. The European Union won’t let Americans come to Europe, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Mexico actually does build a wall to keep us out.

The funniest comic strip is on the national news page, starring the COW as Daffy Don. He’s the guy that makes up demeaning nicknames for his opponents, blames everyone else for his mistakes, and accuses everyone else of doing what he is doing — lying, cheating, and stealing. His only concern is getting reelected. If a reporter asks a question he doesn’t want to answer, he calls him terrible, overrated, and incompetent — just like Daffy Don.

Is the global pandemic worse here than anywhere else? That’s got to be the fault of China, the WHO, the UN, Obama, Hillary Clinton, or the bogeyman, never Daffy Don. “Nobody saw this coming,” only every public-health official and every other elected leader in the world. After the experiences with SARS, MERS, swine flu, Ebola, and other contagious diseases, they prepared for the next pandemic by studying viruses in wild animals (that’s called “science”). They established panels of experts to warn us when the next disease appeared and stockpiled necessary supplies such as masks and gowns for a quick response. Daffy Don did away with all of that here, but other countries, notably South Korea, New Zealand, and Greece, were well-prepared and acted quickly to shut down large gatherings, wear masks, test widely to find those infected and trace their contacts, quarantining anyone who might pass on the virus to others. Without a vaccine, they have stamped out the virus and are getting back to normal. Their economies are recovering.

Here, people are dying, and I’m not laughing.

Stephen McDaniel writes from Manchester.

For any member of the community who would like to submit a guest community voices column for publication consideration, it should be approximately 700 words and sent to bob.blubaugh@carrollcountytimes.com.