David Berry's philosophy of fatherhood can be summed up in the words, "Any man can be a father; it takes work to be a great dad."
That's why he included the statement in a brochure he distributes to men who have enrolled in the 24-week classes provided by his nonprofit organization, Dads Works.
For almost 16 years, the Westminster resident has helped about 1,000 men face a variety of life problems, such as divorce, conflicts with ex-wives, child support, substance abuse and unemployment. The men are referred to the program by Human Services Programs of Carroll County Inc., or HSP, as well as counseling agencies, churches and the court system.
Berry earned a Bachelor of Divinity degree in 1996 from Antioch University International, then located in Dallas, before serving as a pastor in North Carolina and then Pennsylvania. He was hired in October 2000 to lead Dads Works, a new group initiated under the umbrella of the local HSP — and he continues to serve in that role.
When a government grant that had supported the program ended in 2010, he established it as an independent nonprofit based in Westminster.
"I enjoy working with men and I understand their needs," said Berry, who is certified in several national fatherhood curricula. "A big problem is divorce or separation that creates conflict between the mother and father. We tell the men that the focus should be on the child."
The 63-year-old Westminster resident, himself married and the father of grown children, a daughter and a son, believes that dads can "unload and download" in the safe environment of Dads Works, where they can talk and vent.
"Fifty percent don't have anyone to talk to; men seem to bottle up inside themselves," he said.
Berry leads weekly 90-minute meetings that include a 45-minute support group and an additional educational component of 45 minutes. Topics include personal development, internal controls, dads and parenting, and communication and relationship skills.
Resources are also provided to link fathers to other agencies for further support regarding issues such as legal rights and employment.
Another part of Dads Works is operated from the Carroll County Detention Center by Mike Misterka, a licensed clinical social worker who helps fathers reunite with their families after spending time in prison. The two-hour weekly classes continue for six weeks, focusing on personal insight, communication skills and relationships.
Enrollees in the Dads Works program pay $1,000 — either entirely up front or partially up front, with the rest through increments — which includes Berry helping with court appearances, letters of support, job and other referrals, and individual meetings to help resolve a particular problem. All graduates of the program are welcome to continue to come to the meetings without further charge, to help new members or to gain continuous support.
Berry relies on community backing and an annual father-daughter dance to raise additional money to offset costs.
"When we were funded by a grant for 10 years, I never had to think about raising money," Berry said. "When the grant ran out, I've had to spend time looking for resources."
For Berry, his efforts are his passion because he has witnessed the progress of fathers who have been helped by Dads Works. Two such fathers are John Cory and Scot Bartron.
"I didn't know much about being a parent or a husband," said Cory, a 48-year-old Manchester resident who faced marital problems after retiring from the military. Five years ago, the father of three children — now 18, 16, and 12 years old — joined the group, having been referred by another agency. Hearing other men with similar issues helped him learn about his own mistakes and, ultimately, how to avoid jeopardizing his relationship with his children.
Though he and his wife are apart, he has maintained his relationship with the two younger siblings.
"I can say that my relationship with my children has been good but has become more in depth, more sincere and more open because of the skills I have gained," Cory said. "I've learned how they should be raised instead of how I was raised."
For 32-year-old Scot Bartron, Dads Works gave the opportunity for him to vent with other fathers who were experiencing similar hardships, such as divorce and joint custody problems. The New Windsor resident, who has three children — 7, 6 and 4 years old — graduated from the program two months ago after having seen an ad for the group and deciding to enroll.
"My ex-wife and I have shared custody of our children," Bartron said. "The group helped me to establish what my priorities are in relation to issues such as two households and two different ways to discipline. Being there emotionally and physically helped me sort through the problems and take one thing at a time."
Both Cory and Barton — who now attend meetings as supporters to new members of the group — are examples of men who enrolled in the six-month course. Each graduate receives a framed certificate of completion and a Dads Works T-shirt.
"They worked hard to earn it; many are proud," Berry said. "Fifty percent do not complete the course, but if they are applying some of the things they have learned, such as better communication skills and paying more attention to their children, we will be successful."
Berry's wife, Diane, who has helped organize the father-daughter dance as well as family picnics, is a firm believer of the good that comes out of Dads Works.
The 61-year-old described a Dads Works picnic in 2010 during which she was struck by the intergenerational crowd who were enjoying the simple pleasures of getting together with family.
"I realized, 'Wow, this is good,'" said Diane, a retired Starbucks manager. "I knew I had always supported David, but from that point on, I was excited and realized the wonderful effect of Dads Works."
David Berry said he is striving toward involving more family togetherness in the program, including though an annual family picnic, a trip to Hershey Park and a family night out.
And after many years of hoping to start a similar group for mothers, his dream is coming to fruition: Moms Works will begin meeting on July 5.
Recently, Berry received an email from the girlfriend of a dad who had finished the Dads Works course a few years ago. She extolled the help her mate had received, citing the result of "a stronger, tighter family unit" and expressed the desire to "take the steps he took" — by enrolling in Moms Works — so she could be a better partner and mom to their two children.
Keeping such mothers in mind, Diane Berry is excited to be leading the group's classes.
"I think Moms Works will take on a whole different character," she said. "Where it seems that men don't usually talk, in my experience, women usually do."
In the meantime, David Berry will direct the new program and continue with the old. He said that working with the men has reinforced his belief in the vital role that fathers play in their children's lives.
"Times have changed," he said. "More fathers are stepping up to the plate, and more and more dads are making decisions that focus on their children. … I believe if we can build good, strong character in men, we can build a strong family. Like a ripple effect, this spreads into the community, state and nation."
Dolly Merritt writes from Westminster. She can be contacted via email at dolly827@hotmail.com.
In Their Prime is a recurring feature in which we profile an active member of Carroll County's 55-Forward community. To suggest someone for us to feature, contact night editor Brian Compere at bcompere@carrollcountytimes.com or 410-857-7891.