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Dean Minnich: These things just pop into my head

Education is a lifelong pursuit; a degree of any kind is less.
Show me a kitchen with nothing but a flower arrangement on the granite countertops, and I'll show you someone who's hiding something.
I just ate about half a bag of broken pretzels that probably were returned to the plant from the store or swept up off the factory floor and repurposed with artificial flavoring. If we can ever get consumers to be as smart as the marketing department of a snack maker, America's future will be secure.
How do you make bacon cheddar flavoring without bacon or cheddar, anyway?
Sorry, intellectuals, but Picasso was a fraud, and Gaugin was deficient. Van Gogh's "Starry Night" is the highest price ever for a painting at auction? Experts try to explain it by saying the colors have to be seen in person, and who gets to do that? I have a couple of clay dinosaurs made by two kids in pre-school I wouldn't trade for anything.
If it's true you should never talk about politics or religion in polite company, you're condemned to a lifetime of impolite friends or none at all.
TV's Food Channel has become just another lineup of trash-talking, tattooed, pierced, Mohawk-hairdo cage-fighting survivor clones with undertones of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich. We now have bubba barbeque cooking in a swamp shed with Hatfield/McCoy in bib overalls cooking muskrats and shooting alligators. All I want to know is how to cook, not fight. Can we resurrect Julia Child, please? It was better for your digestion.
Just be patient: 150 years ago, your ancestors had no cars, smartphones, computers or tablets, Internet, radio, TV, hard roads, air conditioning, antibiotics (or recreational drugs). What would have been really great was better birth control because look at the mess they started.
We get pretty smug when we talk about tribal strife in the Middle East, but we have tribes in America, too: Only difference is, ours are represented in the House of Representatives.
Is it me or is there something perverse about electing anti-government people to office to use the power of government to get rid of government?
Get this: American religious conservatives are the people who most fervently support sending our troops overseas, where their mission is to protect progressive civilians in those countries against the excesses of religious conservatives there.
If I were the King of Baseball, games would be played in two and a half hours or less, on average. If the commercials were too long, they'd either cut the commercial or miss the TV coverage until the ads were finished. Players would not be allowed to wear jewelry of any kind, in part to eliminate the costume change when a runner gets on base: Trade batting gloves for running gloves(?), take off the shoulder, elbow, wrist, hand, shin and foot armor. At least five inches of socks would have to show between the top of shoes and the bottom of pants, or why have Red Sox or White Sox in the first place, right? Pitchers would be rewarded, not fined, for plunking batters who take steroids or other drugs, and umpires would be reduced to telling us what the computerized ball and strike and replay machines showed everyone 30 seconds ago.
Nothing is more inconveniently wrong than that of which you were absolutely certain.
News media today do a better job reporting about the controversy caused by events than they do explaining the events at hand. Speculation has replaced revelation.
You can't expect political leaders to have true vision when they learn their craft in the funhouse mirrors of partisanship.
We keep expecting the continued evolution of human beings to take place in the mind, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Real evolution will accelerate when beings are born with three hands. If you disagree, think of the idea next time you're hanging a picture, holding a screw in place, opening a screen door and house door with an armload of groceries, or changing a toddler's diaper.
Certain songs get into your head and stay there all day, or a week, because they speak to us; like, "Scarlet Ribbons" for her hair. That's my gift to you for the rest of the day ...

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