The lesson I learned was "Stay away from the trap of living someone else's life or desiring someone else's life style." Establish your vision, mission, and purpose for your life and stay true to that VMP. I am passionate about having a vision, mission, and purpose for life. But I do not just advocate having a single VMP. I recommend that you have at least two VMP's if you are married. One needs to be a personal VMP. The other should be a family VMP. These two, of course, should support and enhance each other. You want alignment because misalignment will cause you to be pulled in two different directions. What did that wise old King Solomon write? "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) Part of the retirement planning is to develop a vision, mission, and purpose statement for you individually and you as a couple so that there is perfect alignment concerning your future.