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'Tis the season for fishing gifts

OK, I know, it's that time of year again, time to think about all the cool stuff you could get me for my fisherman's Christmas presents. I hope you all out there have given it ample time and thought. Last year's group of gifts left a little to be desired. I mean, I like camo socks and wristwatch bands and all, but I don't wear knee highs and I don't even own a watch because I can't tell time anyway. So, having given the matter considerable thought, here are just a few modest items that I would personally like to see under the tree this year...
Cuff Links: That's right, you read it correctly ... cuff links! Mostly older geezers wear them nowayears, and since I am of older geezer status, this category includes me. I am actually thinking about a complete makeover for 2014, and I may well abandon the full array of camo-wear that I have stock-piled over the past two decades. NOT!
Hats: As if I don't have a couple dozen too many already. I am always in the market for a good looking, redneck-style hat to go with the full array of camo garb I have stock-piled over the past two decades. Ball-style caps are good, but I'll go with a warmish stocking cap to cover my ears. Avoid hats, however, that have fly fishing logos or yuppie 'Eddie Bauer' slogans on them. I'm hard-core Carroll County.
Mittens, er... gloves: Yes, gloves, with hob-knob grippy thingys on the palms and fingers. Also, a pair of Thinsulate "mittens" (if you will) might not be a bad choice. Looks like we might get enough ice to safely ice-fish this year, and I want to be ready. A new 5-gallon bucket, complete with a cushioned lid, would be a great addition to my ice fishing gear. I'll take two.
A new razor and razor blades: The way I figure, if you gotta shave, you may as well do it right. A can of Foamy, some after shave and perhaps one of those fancy-scmancy face-trimming/nose-hair picking thingys. I see them on TV ads all the time. Like I said, it's time for a makeover.
Fishing Lures: There are approximately 2,736,418 to choose from. Dicks has them, Wal-Mart has them. I'll take crankbaits, spinnerbaits, jigs, A-Rigs, jerkbaits, plastic worms, crawlers and frogs and whatever else comes to mind. Don't hold back on this one ... keep 'em coming!
Garmin Nuvi: I get lost a bit, likely comes from not getting out much. I figure, if I can punch in all the waypoints on this little gizmo then I probably will never be wandering around again. But please...don't buy me one that has that silly lady's voice that always scolds me and tells me to go here, then there. Or to "recalculate." I need one that is interactive, and will speak with me directly, on my own terms.
And finally, as if I don't have any at all, a new fishing rod: the perfect gift for the fisherman in anybody's life. There are ice fishing rods, ultralight spinning rods, carp rods, surf rods, baitcasting rods, ledgering rods, fly rods, match rods, crappie rods, dock-shooting rods, spinning rods, worm rods, trolling rods, musky rods, noodle rods, drop-shot rods, micro-light rods, and the list goes on. One of each will be just fine.
Gifts are cool and all, but Christmas is really not about that at all. It's about a Savior who loved us enough to die for us on a cross, so that we could spend an eternity with Him. There is no greater gift than that. And dig this ... it's free! When you sit down for that Christmas dinner this year, think about the greatest gift of all time.

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