Carroll County Times

Michael Zimmer: Long list of resolutions for new year

It is New Year's resolution time once again. My list is admirable for its consistency year after year.
I need to trim some weight. This should include watching what I eat more closely and exercising with greater regularity. Fortunately for me, it is an election year. This will include walking door to door while campaigning.
Thankfully for the family sanity that campaigning will be for other candidates this go around.
Wouldn't it be great if we could issue resolutions for other people? Let's start local. What would be a good resolution for our county commissioners?
They could resolve to settle all conflict by everyone staying for the whole meeting and maintaining their inside voices for the whole discussion. If I want to see an elected official losing his cool, I'll YouTube that clown from Toronto.
Hopefully the new officers on the board can set the right tone. Congratulations to the new president of the board, Commissioner David Roush.
Of course we'll need to come up with a resolution for our members of General Assembly who represent Carroll County. How about they go back to having unified Delegation hearings and meetings?
I'm sure there's a reason they've split in the past year or so into separate Senate and Delegate events, but that is a pain for regular folks who wish to attend. We used to be able to attend one hearing and offer testimony on all the bills connected to our county.
We want to have an impact on the process. It would be nice for our representatives to make that a more user-friendly experience.
If I could direct Governor Martin O'Malley to make a resolution, it would involve multiple steps. First, he'd have to read John Lott's book "More Guns, Less Crime." Then Lott and the governor, both live in studio, would take calls on six different talk radio shows.
I'd pick half of the shows. The governor could pick half of the shows. The public could expect some excellent discussions from such a series of encounters.
A three-party resolution directing former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, National Security Advisor Susan Rice and President Barack H. Obama would seem to be in order. Ken Timmerman, who ran for Congress last year to represent District 8 from Maryland, is writing a book on the Benghazi terrorist attacks that occurred Sept. 11, 2012.
I'd love to have Timmerman interview on video tape all three of those high government officials on what exactly happened before, during and after the Benghazi attacks. Let's add one more degree of fantasy to this scenario.
Let Gregory Hicks, the former deputy chief of mission to Libya, also put questions to Clinton, Rice and Obama in the same session. Hicks was Ambassador Christopher Stevens' number two official in Libya at the time of the attacks. Hicks gave powerful congressional testimony on events in Libya earlier this year.
Back on the local level, maybe our candidates for Sheriff could resolve to participate in five separate candidate forums for the public to ask them questions about their plans if elected Sheriff. These events could be held in each commissioner district.
Instead of moderatordriven questions, take questions from the audience, allowing each candidate two minutes to respond to each question. The order of response would rotate with each question to ensure fairness. The exact same format could be used in the State's Attorney race.
There are many troubling statistics and anecdotes in our community related to crime and justice. Before long, the races for Sheriff and State's Attorney will be among the most talked about campaigns next year.
I'd definitely like to see Jay Leno resolve to get a new television show once he parts ways with NBC. He's the funniest thing out there. He also zings everyone in politics regardless of party or his personal views.
We can close with a final celebrity resolution. What if young pop singers resolved to not engage in immature stunts on stage? Grab the spotlight with talent rather than tiresome efforts to out gross one another.