News item: A judge on Thursday denied bail to suspected Russian spies Richard and Cindy Murphy, whose arrests shocked neighbors in suburban Montclair, N.J. Cindy Murphy, who commuted to her financial job in New York, was admired for her gardening and baking, while her husband was a stay-at-home dad known for making his two daughters' lunches and walking them to the school bus.
They are two of the 10 alleged spies arrested this week who were alleged to have been sent here to earn college degrees, buy houses and develop careers that would put them in close contact with U.S. policymakers who might have knowledge useful to Russia.
"There certainly is a lot of hyperbole here," Richard Murphy's lawyer, Donna Newman, said of allegations that he was infiltrating American intelligence circles. "What circles other than kindergarten play dates was he in?"
I had to use a secret decoder ring from a Cracker Jack box, and warm pages over a light bulb to reveal the invisible ink, but I can now tell you what those Russian spies were sharing with their handlers back home. Here are a few of their communications:
Date: 13May09
To: Moscow Center
From: Cindy Murphy
Subject: Need emergency money
Cover about to be blown. Intel reveals that Susan, that old bat across the street, has been sniffing about the state of my front yard. Even after spending every Saturday morning out there with the Lawn Boy and Miracle-Gro! Wiretap of her kitchen picked up Susan telling her husband, "There's something about the Richards' garden that's, I don't know, foreign-looking. They say they're from Hoboken, but that doesn't totally explain it."
Found solution in this month's Martha Stewart, "Hydrangeas: the All-American Flowering Bush." Need immediate drop of $1,200 — yes, that's capitalism for you — in the form of gift cards to White Flower Farms.
Date: 14May09
To Cindy Murphy
From: Moscow Center
Subject: Re: Need more money.
Requisition for funds approved. Agent will meet you at the Panera's near your house for a brush pass, tomorrow at 0900 hours. He will order an asiago with light veggie and will slip the cards in the bag. You will order an everything, plain. He will follow you out the door and say, "Hey, I think you got my asiago," and you will look inside your bag, slap your forehead and say, "D'oh!"
Date: 26June10
To: Moscow Center
From: Richard Murphy
Subject: Possible plot uncovered
Infiltrated the Saturday Under-8 soccer league by signing up my daughter to play. What a morass of bourgeois values and class envy.
First there was major turmoil over which player would get to wear Donovan's number 10 on his or her jersey. Must check with research department on significance of this to Americans. A code of some sort?
Then we moved on to discussing snacks, and who would bring them, and whether they could be trusted to make sure there are no peanuts (Caitlin is allergic) or strawberries (Jared's mom is protesting pesticide use) and HFCS ("Oh, yes, Michael Pollan," everyone said, nodding). Another query for researchers: Who is this Michael Pollan and is he associated with Donovan?
Other topics of discussion on the sidelines that bear further investigation: Whether Jack should trade his Volvo V50 for a Beemer 535i and just how much more are Liz and Greg going to have to drop the asking price on their house to sell it.
Date:27June10
To: Richard and Cindy Murphy
From: Moscow Center
Subject: New assignments
Chief believes it is time to rotate locations.
Operative Anna Chapman has been working the Manhattan club circuit a little too enthusiastically. Your comrades in Cambridge, Mass., Donald Heathfield and Tracey Lee Ann Foley have gone entirely native — they even registered to vote.
And, of course, once we found you with magnets on your refrigerator and a "garden angel" on one of your trees, and saw you having cookouts with hamburgers and squeezable relish, Cokes and Coors Light, we knew we had left you in your posting too long.
It's time to come in from the cold. Or, rather, to the cold. Please find enclosed your plane tickets, one way, JFK (New York) to SVO (Moscow) to OVB (Novosibirsk, Siberia).