She shares her anxieties and emotions on the blog, including this excerpt from a Jan. 15 post called Last Day at Home: "I'm trying to relax and pretend it's like a normal day but it's hard knowing I won't be here for awhile. I hate hospitals, but I know I'm doing this for my boys. I'm just having a weird mix of emotions -- I hate the idea of being there, but I can't wait to be there and be able to have the boys monitored a few times daily."
In a Jan. 28 post titled Nervous, she said: "Today would have been my baby shower, which kind of made me sad. Not sad, because things are going well. But I got a little upset when I realized it because I remember thinking back to the very beginning of the pregnancy when I was happy and getting excited for all the fun things to come. It's so frivolous in the whole grand scheme of things: the shower, and preparing the nursery, and getting excited about sonograms; but, they are all things I looked forward to when imagining myself pregnant. Now all I want are my babies.
And in this March 12 post, she described having to take Nolan home first, and having to leave Brooks for a few more days in the neonatal intensive care unit: "I think that after the pregnancy -- wondering if the babies were alive everyday, this was the hardest part of the whole experience. It was heartbreaking leaving Brooks there alone. I felt terrible separating them. I know it's for the best, and Brooks still needs to be there, but he's always been with his brother."