Do they frighten you, repulse you, show up in your dreams?
Do they make you cringe, cry or carry sprays and unguents when you head out the door?
If so, experts say, you've got yourself a problem.
"Bugs outnumber us," says Faith Kuehn, an insect expert, with Jiminy-Cricket cheerfulness. "They've been around for millions and millions of years. They're brilliant at adapting to all kinds of environments. Some say there are many species yet to be discovered."
Stomp on all the arthropods you like; you'll never beat bugs, so you might as well get to know them - an idea that could be the mission statement for "It's a Bug's World," a colorful free program centered on insects and their roles and habits that entomologist Kuehn and compatriots will bring to Annapolis next weekend.
Designed with children in mind, "Bug's World" will include live insects, as well as tarantulas and bugs that create jewelry and art; trot out photographers and illustrators who focus on insects; and invite kids to build their own bugs and slide their hands into something slimy called "the Tank of Doom."
The goal: to introduce folks to their creepy-crawly neighbors in a way that entertains and enlarges appreciation.
"We're trying to get people to realize how important insects are," says Kuehn, plant industries administrator for the Delaware Department of Agriculture and the show's organizer for the eighth consecutive year. "There's a good reason not to just smash every one you see."
The March 7 program will launch this year's annual meeting of the Entomological Society of America, Eastern Branch, which brings scholars from the Mid-Atlantic region and across North America to the state capital March 7-9.
Items they'll discuss include the fate of the Western bean cutworm in Pennsylvania (not good) and the foraging patterns of bees (complicated).
Not, though, before next Sunday's four-hour event offers an interactive trek through the world of insects, complete with information on why they matter.
"The vast majority are either neutral to us or beneficial to us," says Gaye Williams, an entomologist and exhibitor with the Maryland Department of Agriculture. "Being human-centric, we think it's all about us.
"One reason for this outreach is to get people to be easier on our neighbors. They run the planet; we just ruin it."
Exhibit A: a peek at pinningThose who see insects human-centrically miss the simple fact that the bug universe is complex, colorful and thriving.
The Bug Patrol, amateur insect hunters from the Frederick 4-H Club, will show live specimens they've caught on field trips, but also demonstrate "pinning," the technique enthusiasts use to immobilize dead insects for examination
Pinning lets a viewer see the traits that make an insect an insect: three sets of leg pairs each, three body segments (a head, a thorax and an abdomen) apiece, and either wings or a history of wings in the species.
It also helps show some amazing insect quirks: the tiny body hairs and huge compound eyes of flies; the hard outer wings of beetles; the way some insects, including honeybees, have a Velcro-like system of hooks and grooves that joins separate wings together into one flight surface.
Though they're not technically insects, live millipedes, scorpions and spiders will also be on display.
Exhibit B: a mite-sniffing muttBugs reproduce so quickly - many of them cranking out several new generations each year - that they create a vast, magnificently adaptive gene pool. The useful traits survive; the harmful ones don't.
That's why some can live in arid climates (they have body adaptations that help them store water), low temperatures (a sort of anti-freeze), or below ground and in water.
But as the re-emergence of one old pest shows, even adaptations are temporary.
Bedbugs, long a health hazard worldwide, declined in number in North America during the late 1900s, but international air travel has returned the critters to places that once had bumped them off. This has sparked major resurgences, including in Maryland.
Guests will meet one of mankind's most effective counters to this adaptation when Gizmo, a bedbug-sniffing dog that works with pest-control experts, struts his stuff.
Exhibit C: Vincent van RoachIf there's such a thing as a creepy-crawly crowd-pleaser, it might be the Madagascar hissing cockroach, a staple of the exhibits Williams takes into schools.
Typically 2 inches long, the cockroach has a breathing apparatus that runs the length of its body, a blowhole and a penchant for making noises that can be heard across a sizable room.
"[Students] will stand there and ask me, 'Is it going to hurt me?' she says. "All the while, I've got one sitting right on my hand. Many of them touch it, tell their friends and bring them over to do the same thing."
Williams awards a "bug buddy" certificate to those who brave contact.
This roach is also part of a second act Kuehn calls "Vincent van Roach." The bug is big, bulky and sturdy enough to be able to traipse through nontoxic paints and stroll across paper, leaving prints that depict its natural walking patterns - art that kids can take home.
Exhibit D: bug eatersInsects are an integral part of nature's lengthy conversation with itself. One form or species causes another to adapt or perish, triggering further adjustments down the line.
As such, bugs show the importance of interdependence. They play a big role in transporting pollen from one plant to another, for instance, aiding in the process by which plants reproduce - including ones that bear the fruit and vegetables we eat.
And just as some insects feed on mammals or reptiles - mosquitoes and fleas sucking blood, for instance - some larger animals, such as frogs and skunks, must eat insects to survive.
Tim Hoen, a herpetologist with the Maryland Natural Historical Society, will bring a few such beasts to demonstrate.
Exhibit E: folding faunaSome entomologists savor bug beauty as fervently as they study mating patterns.
"There are insects that have inspired artists and authors in many cultures down through the ages," Kuehn says.
She has invited a modern bug artist, Yong-Lak Park of West Virginia University, to practice his unique craft. Park uses a variety of folding papers to fashion lifelike origami grasshoppers, praying mantises and other creatures on the spot, many with moving parts.
"He's a real talent," says Kuehn, who has followed the entomologist's career from his grad-school days in California.
Williams will share some of the wooden cicada carvings she has collected since 2004, when that insect - revered in Chinese folklore as a symbol of rebirth and longevity - reappeared after completion of its 17-year life cycle and swarmed Maryland.
Kuehn herself is a bug-art connoisseur who keeps jewelry, postcards, illustrations and sheet music at home in a custom-designed cabinet (yes, it has six legs).
Exhibit F: red-kneed tarantulaAs archaeologist Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford contended with Mexican red-knee tarantulas, members of a large species found mostly in Mexico. (The spiders cost $100 apiece when first used in those movies.)
Williams will bring one, and not just for cinematic shock value. She raised it "from the size of a pea" to its current dimensions ("the size of your palm"), saving every skin it molted as it grew.
She'll display those to depict the tarantula's life stages. "It's like saving baby shoes," she says.
Exhibit G: alien invadersThe increase in exports from Asia to the U.S. concerns entomologists, in part because unfamiliar species can "hitchhike" here via wooden storage palettes or attached to trees sold in nurseries.
Guests will hear from experts about Maryland's biggest bugaboo, an invader that arrived from Asia, via Michigan and Tennessee, in 2003 and is still causing havoc on the ash population: an exotic, metallic-looking beetle called the emerald ash borer.
That species is like many others in a world reduced in size by international plane travel. "The ebola virus, which is found in Africa, could move from there to New York City in 12 hours," says Williams. "It's a result of our freewheeling society. At some point, the world will probably be very homogenous, with everything evenly distributed."
Exhibit H: black-market bugsNot long ago, a Maryland postal clerk noticed sounds coming from a package. He called the Maryland Department of Agriculture, which found that the box contained exotic scarab beetles not native to the state.
One function of the MDA and the USDA is to keep aggressive bug collectors from importing banned live specimens - usually exotic beetles or butterflies - into the state or the country. This underground industry, Kuehn says, has only grown during the Internet age, when collectors can often bypass international regulations with the click of a mouse.
A federal agent will display the carcasses of confiscated specimens, including the scarab beetles, discussing why they're banned and what regulations smugglers must circumvent.
Exhibit I: awarenessEntomologists are often parodied as those bespectacled oddballs bearing butterfly nets into inappropriate places.
Kuehn doesn't so much dispute the stereotype as see it from another point of view.
"You're talking about serious people with passion for a subject and keen concentration," she says brightly. "The flip side of that can be paying less attention to what else is going on around you."
But as easy as it is to spoof, entomology, Kuehn says, is hardly a narrow field. One point of "It's a Bug's World" is to attract tomorrow's insect aficionados, people Kuehn says will be able to find employment in fields that include conservation and computer programming.
In the meantime, organizers simply want to inspire more awareness of the biosphere, from the "short list of insects that do cause harm," as Williams puts it, to the vast majority of bugs that hum along, keeping the planet running.
"We want people to be aware of what's going on in the real world," she says. "The good, the bad and the ugly."
If you go What: "It's a Bug's World," public outreach portion of the 81st annual meeting of the Entomological Society of America, Eastern Branch
Where: Sheraton Annapolis Hotel, 173 Jennifer Road
When: 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. March 7
Admission: free
Information: ebesa.ento.vt.edu/
EB_MeetingInfo.html
or call the Sheraton at 410-266-3131.