Forget that namby pamby Elf on the Shelf stuff -- if you really want to get your kids to behave at Christmas time, tell them about Krampus.
Krampus is a sort of anti-Claus, a horned beast who stuffs bad children in his sack.
He brandishes birch branches, rattles chains and spirits away naughty kids to eat them, drown them or take them on a holiday tour of hell.
Krampus' tongue is forked, his hooves cloven, and we can only imagine that his matted fur smells like the remains of last year's Christmas roast.
He makes his first appearances in early German folklore, but seems to be enjoying a bit of a renaissance, as evidenced by this and this and this.
From 7 to 9 tonight, Krampus will be terrifying children of all ages at Bazaar, 3534 Chestnut Ave. in Hampden. Enjoy a beverage with the beast, pose for a photo and try to avoid being shoved into his sack.
Afterwards, stop by The Charmery, the ice cream shop around the corner, which will be making a special flavor of ice cream in honor of Krampus.
Mmmm, ice cream inspired by a hairy, horned beast -- sounds delicious!