'Survivor Philippines' recap, Winners are Wieners

Previously on "Survivor:" Mike was awesome, Lisa was not, and is now dead to me.

Back from Tribal Council, Abbi and Pete are scrambling and figuring out that it's going to be hard to form another alliance when no one likes or trusts them. Mike came out of his shell and is playing the game for real, now. It's interesting to watch since he never got this far in the game before, and only seemed likely to cut off a limb earlier in this game.

And now Abbi is grilling Lisa about her loyalty. How does Lisa put up with this? Ah, according to her, because she's a doormat and will do just about anything to keep from hurting someone else.

Abbi is practically yelling at her, and is quick to cut Lisa off and tell her that she's "already clearly aligned with them, so whatever." Can someone please get Abbi off my screen? Thanks.

Reward Challenge time! This time they are playing for a spa day, and since the teams are even, Abbi has to play. It's a strange challenge to describe: there are three circles in the sand, with a red and yellow token in each. Players go head to head, trying to flip all three of their tokens over, but the opposing player can also flip yours back over.

Abbi and Lisa go up against each other, and Abbi actually flips over one of Lisa's tokens for her, giving her the win. No wonder they sit her out as much as possible.

And then Mike makes the same mistake, and gives Malcolm the win. Carter, Malcolm, Pete, and Abbi's team ends up winning because of it. I wouldn't be so excited Abbi, you did nothing to deserve it.

Malcolm is doing all of his confessionals for the reward in a robe with a towel on his head with a fruity drink in his hand, and it's hilarious. They all agree to take a day off from strategy and just enjoy themselves. They all get baths, massages, manicures, and pedicures, and goodness gracious, do they all need it.

When they get back from the reward, Abbi can't stop talking about how awesome it was. Maybe she doesn't realize it, but she's rubbing it in everyone's face. Ah, who am I kidding; she doesn't care what anyone else thinks. As Malcolm points out, "Abbi has all the social graces of a Mack truck." And the cherry on the sundae is her announcing that she is no longer cooking, she's done.

Mike and Malcolm talk, and bring up the idea of Mike and Lisa, and Denise and Malcolm as a final four. Makes sense, they come into the alliance with equal numbers. You'd be crazy to get into an alliance with Malcolm and Denise without a strong ally of your own.

Mike talks to Lisa about it, and she admits that she actually trusts Jonathan more than Malcolm in a final four situation. They go and talk to Jonathan about it, but he won't make any commitments as of yet, which, as Lisa points out, may be a missed opportunity.

And, yup it is, as Malcolm, Denise, Mike and Lisa make a final four commitment with each other. Mike is not entirely comfortable with it, probably because he knows he'd lose to either Malcolm or Denise in a Final Three.

Immunity Challenge time! They have to maneuver a buoy through an obstacle course both on the beach and in the water. Pete knows that if he doesn't win, he's toast. Malcolm, Jonathan, Denise, Mike, and Carter make it through the first round. Mike, Carter, and Denise make it into the final round in the water. 

It's close, but Carter wins Immunity! You know, for someone who's name I didn’t know for the first five episodes, he's doing pretty well at this game.

And now it's time for my least favorite part of the evening, the post-Immunity Challenge scrambling. As Jonathan puts it, it should be straightforward: the six split down the middle Pete/Abbi, Abbi plays the Idol, and Pete goes home.

If, for some reason Abbi is an idiot and doesn't play the Idol, then she goes home. But that would make for boring TV, so the editors have to make it look more complicated than that, since we have 20 minutes left in the episode.

Abbi is trying to guilt Lisa into voting with her and Pete, but Lisa flat out tells her to her face that she's already told the non-Abbi and Pete people that she's voting with them. Pete tries the same thing (but with more skill) with Mike, suggesting they get rid of Malcolm now, but Mike is acting like he might be swayed. I don't think he will, though, since he's already given Malcolm his word.

Malcolm realizes that it's his name being bandied about, and is now debating whether or not he needs to use his own Immunity Idol. If no one in his alliance betrays him, then he's wasted it. If he doesn't use it and someone does betray him, then he's going home. Better safe than sorry? It's a hard call.

Tribal Council time! Pete flat out admits that his plan is to try to get rid of Malcolm. Abbi is regretful about the last Tribal Council, and thinks her attitude may be perceived as "not gentle" because English is not her first language. Denise calls bull on this immediately. Abbi feels misunderstood and is upset, but she's alienated everybody and pretty much no one cares. Even Jeff is picking on her.

Denise is going all therapist on her, and actually trying to help her, I think, and Abbi just. doesn't. get. it. and cuts her off at every turn. Yikes. Since she has the Idol, it's going to be an awkward three more days at camp.

The votes are in, and Abbi plays her Idol. The first three votes are for Abbi, and do not count. Abbi and Pete voted for Malcolm, but Mike did not, and Pete goes home. I wish it had been Abbi, but I think I'll get my wish next week, and then things will get real interesting.

Next Week: New alliances form, and Abbi is feeling like, well like Lisa did at the beginning of the game because of how Abbi treated her. You know what they say about karma, Abbi.

Credits: Pete feels bad for Abbi, and wishes he'd done things a little differently, but overall, he's very gracious.

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