A child's mother is his first defender, and she can be his biggest champion. But lucky is the child who grows into an enduring and companionable friendship with her mother.
These Baltimoreans have been that lucky.
Carla Hayden, head of the city's library system, and Sarah Simington, owner of the Blue Moon Cafe in Fells Point, are the daughters of single mothers.
Kevin Frazier, now the anchor of "Entertainment Tonight," might as well have been. His father, professional and college basketball coach Nat Frazier, traveled year-round.
And the mother of Ravens wide receiver Michael Campanaro is his favorite date for movies — and pedicures.
For Mother's Day, we talked to these mothers and their children to find the secret to their special friendships.
Carla and Colleen Hayden
Lessons that linger
Carla Hayden, head of Baltimore's Enoch Pratt Free Library system, was determined to keep the libraries open during the unrest that followed the death of Freddie Gray while in police custody.
She wanted them, especially the branch near the epicenter of the unrest on Pennsylvania Avenue, to be a haven and a symbol of what works in the city.
Hayden attributed those efforts to her mother.
"I had to thank her," said Hayden. "Her early activism, me doing homework at all those community meetings, all the things that I observed, kicked in and allowed me to do what I needed to do to keep the library open as a beacon of hope."
The staff at the library branches not only provided a refuge, but fed children after school.
"I worried about what my mother was going to say," said Hayden. "I knew she was going to say it wasn't safe. I girded myself and waited until morning to tell her. She said, 'Do you have hand sanitizer, do you have napkins, do you have cups?'"
Colleen Hayden was a city housing official in New York City and Chicago, and after her divorce from her daughter's father, she had to take young Carla along to all those night meetings.
"I had no idea that she absorbed so much growing up," said Colleen Hayden, who moved to Baltimore in 2003 to be with her daughter. They now live in the same building. "She is demonstrating now that she was paying attention."
The mother and daughter love to travel together. Their last trip was to Paris to celebrate Colleen Hayden's birthday last fall. This year, Carla Hayden, past president of the American Library Association, will take her mother to the convention in San Francisco in June.
"That's part of the fun of having an adult daughter," said Colleen Hayden.
For Mother's Day, they will celebrate with brunch and mimosas at Gertrude's at the Baltimore Museum of Art, where chef John Shields always pampers them.
"Being a single mother, we have always relied on each other," said Hayden's mother. "We always knew we had each other as an anchor. That solidified a lot in our relationship."
Kevin and Alice Frazier
Together in all things
Kevin Frazier's father, Nat, was a college and professional basketball coach, but it was his mother, Alice, who was his teacher and coach.
"My mother was entrenched in sports," the "Entertainment Tonight" co-host said of his mom, a three-sport coach and the first athletic director at Oakland Mills High School in Howard County. "I went everywhere with her, to every practice and every game. My mom was everything to me."
Frazier was a student and a basketball player at Morgan State when his mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and it rocked him. "She wrote us all notes in case she didn't make it. I never opened the note, and I never asked her what was in it."
Alice Frazier coached basketball, junior varsity field hockey and track and field at Oakland Mills after the family left Baltimore City.
"My parents felt the quality of life would be better for me. Everything they have ever done has been to make sure I lived the best life possible and my life has been amazing," Kevin Frazier said.
It wasn't just the coaching he got from his mom, he said, "it was the rides to practice and to the games. Those things matter."
Frazier's rise through the ranks in broadcast television is a tribute to the charm she always saw in him, said his mother.
"I thought whatever Kevin decided to put his energy to and work at, he would succeed," she said. "I thought it would be as an athlete, a basketball player. But he changed and went into media and just took off."
For her son, taking off has had its drawbacks, including being far from family. He says that the distance between Hollywood, Calif., and Maryland "is just brutal." But his mother understands, of course.
"My husband was always gone someplace. ... Kevin and I have always been very, very close. Wherever I went, Kevin went."
Alice Frazier remembers wrestling with her young son's teachers about moving him up a grade and then arguing with her teenager about homework. Suddenly, the little boy who was her only company until brother Kenny arrived had grown up.
"I was taking a psychology course at the time, and the teacher and I were talking about my having trouble getting Kevin to do his work. She told me, 'You have lost your companion.'"
Kevin Frazier wouldn't say what he would do for Mother's Day for his mom, who lives with his father in a retirement community in Columbia. "It's a secret," he said.
Sarah and Sherri Simington
Shared passion for cooking
Sarah Simington, the owner of the Blue Moon Cafe, used to take her meals on the stools and in the booths of her mom's cafes. Years later, the mother stumbled on the charms of Fells Point, called her daughter in California, and a success story was launched.
"She'd always managed coffeehouses, lived the 'grunge' scene while I'd be rolling down for pancakes in the morning. This was a chance to do it our way," said Sarah Simington.
Sarah Simington was only 21, but she sold everything and came back almost 20 years ago. She and her mom, Sherri, lived above the restaurant and shared a car. Then a favorable review in The Baltimore Sun and an appearance on the food show "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" put the Blue Moon, and its Cap'n Crunch French toast, on the map.
Now, as Sarah, who has become a star of food shows herself, prepares to open a second location in Federal Hill, her "inspiration," as she calls her mother, is enjoying the quiet life of a retiree in Chincoteague Island, Va.
"This is her grandchild," said Sarah of the new restaurant. "This is an homage to her. I am momma-taught. Everything I know I learned from her."
"There was a lot of single-mother time," said Sherri Simington. "And she was used to having a restaurant in her life. Then suddenly it was something we could do together, though we were tripping over each other.
"This new restaurant is going to be all hers. I want her to have a chance to have that. I am a very proud mother."
Sherri Simington has left the chaos of city life behind her and though she will be there for the opening of the new restaurant sometime in June, it is Sarah who makes the trip to Virginia to see her mom.
"We like to fish," both agreed. "And play Yahtzee. And kayak."
None of which should be done in a restaurant kitchen.
Michael and Lisa Campanaro
Pedicures and paddle boats
It makes sense that a mom would be the one to introduce her child to the wonders of the pedicure, a cleansing, pampering, relaxing beauty treatment.
It makes a little less sense that Lisa Campanaro was able to win her son, the Baltimore Ravens' Michael Campanaro, over to its pleasures.
"She was taking care of me after surgery at Wake Forest [for a deviated septum], and I guess I was still under the influence of the medicine, and she asked me to go and I said, 'Sure.'
"It was actually really good," said the second-year NFL wide receiver. "Hey, I need to take care of my feet."
Lisa Campanaro, a big fan of "Dancing with the Stars," heard former Raven Jacoby Jones talk about pedicures on the show and was convinced it would be good for her son, too. "I think it is important," she said, with a self-conscious laugh.
Michael Campanaro, the youngest of Lisa and Attilio's three sons, grew up in Howard County and graduated from River Hill High School. His mom, along with his father — a professional chef and restaurant owner — has been on the sidelines for his games since he first put on a uniform in pee-wee football. Now his parents walk from their retirement home in Harbor East to his games at M&T Bank Stadium.
"I've been nervous since he put his pads on the very first time," said Lisa Campanaro. "At each level, I would hold my breath until I see him get up.
"It is hard to compartmentalize it. But this is his passion. His dream. If something happens, we will do our best to get him healthy."
Which would probably include feeding him. Lisa Campanaro makes a killer crab dip, her son says. And she is an amazing cook.
"When all three boys are together, they are these physical specimens," said their mom. Oldest son Nick and second son Vinny are strength and training coaches. "Sometimes I have all this stuff, and they ask for grilled chicken and a baked potato."
Mother's Day will probably involve food, however. Michael is thinking about brunch out with the family, but Lisa is thinking about a picnic and paddle boats on the water somewhere. "I love everyday experiences with them," she said. "They are what is priceless."
But paddle boats? For three strapping sons?
If she sold the pedicures, she can sell the paddle boats.
@SusanReimer on Twitter.com