The parody news site "The Onion" mocks Baltimore in an article in the Oct. 2 edition headlined: "Baltimore Preparing for Hurricane Joaquin By Adding Second Layer of Plywood to Shuttered Small Businesses."
The tongue-in-cheek article riffs on the boarded-up storefronts that line some city blocks and quotes a fictitious city spokesman, "Jim D'Amico," as saying:
"'A tropical storm as severe as this can cause considerable damage, so we're urging residents to take precautionary measures by covering boarded-up windows and doors of vacant storefronts with an additional protective layer of plywood or plastic sheeting. Emergency crews are working around the clock to provide further flood protection by adding sandbags to the mounds of debris and garbage that were already piled up outside these failed businesses. And, thankfully, most of these buildings had their utility services cut off months or years ago, so we're way ahead of the game there.' D'Amico told reporters that the city's evacuation efforts had been greatly aided by the fact that most of the population had long since fled from high-storm-risk areas due to urban blight."