Mr. Trash Wheel, Esquire? Petition calls for more senior name for Baltimore's original trash wheel

Some Baltimoreans feel as though Mr. Trash Wheel, the most senior of Baltimore’s growing fleet of trash-collecting water wheels, is not getting the respect he’s due — and they’re taking action.

A petition has sprung up this week, reasoning that the Waterfront Partnership’s Inner Harbor trash wheel, which was implemented in 2014, “deserves proper recognition for his distinguished service.” The title “Mr.” simply won’t do in the era of the distinguished Professor Trash Wheel in Canton, which made its debut in December, and the newly named Captain Trash Wheel, which is slated to begin operating in South Baltimore’s Masonville Cove next year.

“[Mr. Trash Wheel] has been hard at work cleaning up Baltimore's Inner Harbor, seldom leaving his station at the Jones Falls River's mouth, and has become a familiar sight to Baltimoreans and visitors alike,” wrote the petitioner, identified on solely as B.V. “However, despite notably achieving highly in the enterprise by removing one million pounds of trash before Professor Trash Wheel even arrived in Canton, he is consistently outranked by his peers who are now entering the workforce with years less practical experience!”

Reddit users also weighed in on Mr. Trash Wheel’s successors* outranking him.

“Mr Trash wheel has been eating up garbage for years and he gets looked over for his dissertation for some upstart lady trash wheel who gets her phd in trash eating and now he gets looked over for his trash captains license. What is going on here. Has Mr. Trash wheel not proven himself worthy of a promotion, or a degree?” said user jabbadarth.

Added another, user charleshb417: “Mr. Trash Wheel unfortunately lacks the proper Environmental Engineering degree that the young millennial trash wheels are graduating with.”

After listing Mr. Trash Wheel’s many accomplishments, which include a 4.9 rating on Google Maps, a successful “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit, and being the first to sport and then lose a googly eye only to have it “surgically reattached,” the petitioner also provided some alternative titles to be considered, like “The Illustrious Mr. Trash Wheel,” “Mr. Trash Wheel, Esquire” and “Mr. Trash Wheel The Great.” One person commented that adding “O.G.,” as in “original gangster,” to the end of his name might be enough to distinguish his seniority.

The petition, which is aiming for 100 signatures, had 50 supporters as of Friday morning, and will be submitted to the Waterfront Partnership, according to the petition website.


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The article has been corrected to state that Reddit users were weighing in on Mr. Trash Wheel's successors. The Sun regrets the error.
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