Sounds? There's no shortage of them on the boardwalk, either: a barker beckoning you to a carnival game, the rattle of loose planks when the tram goes by, or snippets of conversations from strolling vacationers - all punctuated by the mad cackling of seagulls hovering above it all.
In an hour-long, south-to-north walk one afternoon last week, here is what was heard, proving if nothing else that, on the boardwalk, people-listening is at least as interesting as people-watching:
Are you going on the tram, or not? What do you want to do, Earl?
You want any of this? I can't eat no more ...
Twenty five cases of Coors Light ...
I'm going to the beach. Are you coming?
... Unless I'm drinking, then I smoke, like, 10 ...
But you said you wanted to go to Ripley's. We can't do both. ...
Do you feel a chill of foreboding? Or was that just a passing ghost? Don't be afraid ... (Recording from the Haunted House)
Mom, I want to go to the Haunted House ...
There is one thing that sets him apart from his teammates. You see, this AMAZING athlete is missing his legs ... (From a video playing at Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum)
I'm soooooo tired ...
I'm taking this stuff back to the car ...
When you walk underneath the shark, he's going to eat you, and then he's going to spit you back out ...
What time are we leaving tomorrow?
Here comes the tram now ...
You could fry an egg on my head ...
Get a free sample of Polish Water Ice ... great flavors and prices that can't be beat ... (Recording from a water ice store.)
Woman: How come you don't have a coat on? Man: I didn't think it was going to be that cold ...
I want ice cream, Mommy, I want ice cream ...
Man: I don't know what I want. Woman: There's 1,000 flavors and you're probably going to get vanilla ...
Man to woman: I don't understand what you're saying ...
Fudge? No, I'm tired of that ...
What language were they talking?
So I thought, do I say something to her, or do I just stay quiet? In hindsight, I shouldn't have said anything ...
Girl: I want to go touch the water. Boy: Then go touch it ...
Eddie really likes you. He's just a quiet person. That's just the way he is ...
Push me and then just touch me 'til I can get my satisfaction. (Music blaring from a storefront)
I'm sick and tired of people telling me what I can and can't do ...
I'm getting broadband ...
Kathy, is there anything special you want from down here, like taffy or necklaces? (Woman on cell phone)
Woman 1: Oh, look, there's dippin' dots. Woman 2: What's dippin' dots?
I shouldn't have eaten that big meal ...
Look, honey, all you can eat for $9.99 ...
Man: You're walking too damn fast. Woman: No, you're walking too damn slow ...
Do you love me? Do you surfer girl, surfer girl, my little surfer girl? ... (Music from a storefront)
I ain't spending no more money ...
I told him, that's what you get for having girls ...
Sammy, are you going to walk, or is Mommy going to have to carry you?
This is good exercise ...
My feet are hurtin', man ...
Man into cell phone: Are you still in Pennsylvania?
Crying girl, as parents, each holding one of her hands, lead her off the beach: I don't wanna go. I don't want to leave the beach. I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go ...
John.Woestendiek@baltsun.com.