Ask Amy
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Ask Amy: Parent worries about daughter down the hall
Dear Amy: My wife and I have two grown children. One is married with children. The other, our 35-year-old daughter, lives with us and has been unemployed for the last month. She is kind and generous. She will help around the house or yard if asked. She pays for her own car, insurance, gas, clothes,...
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Ask Amy: Mental illness stigma silences many spouses
Dear Amy: Numerous sports stars and celebrities have recently disclosed that they have anxiety, depression and/or bipolar disorder. These people have amazing strength and courage. However, countless others live in secrecy, refusing to disclose their illness to even close friends or family members....
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Ask Amy: In-laws struggle to connect with son's family
Dear Amy: My wife and I are struggling with how to handle our relationship with our new daughter-in-law. No matter what, it seems impossible to draw her into the fold of our family and to shower her with love and affection. She is moody and often cold and indifferent. She and my son live a couple...
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Ask Amy: In-laws struggle to connect with son's family
Dear Amy: My wife and I are struggling with how to handle our relationship with our new daughter-in-law. No matter what, it seems impossible to draw her into the fold of our family and to shower her with love and affection. She is moody and often cold and indifferent. She and my son live a couple...
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Ask Amy: Cheating hurts, especially after breakup
Dear Amy: I cheated with someone who was also cheating on his partner. I left my partner; he stayed with his. I went to great lengths to change my life for him. He did not. I got worn out by the wait (four years) and couldn’t take the emotional pain. Six months ago, I ended the relationship. I...
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Ask Amy: New mom struggles with the family petri dish
Dear Amy: I had a baby daughter four months ago. My in-laws called three days before Christmas to tell us that they all had colds but insisted that we come over anyway because the entire family would be there. My pediatrician said the baby is fine to go out in public at her age, and we have been...
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Ask Amy: Long-married wife struggles with self-esteem
Dear Amy: I’ve been married for 26 years. My husband and I are in counseling for marital problems. I struggle with self-esteem and shame. My husband and I clicked immediately when we met. I thought I had found a man who loved me and didn’t judge me. We married a year later. Three months after our...
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Ask Amy: Spouse struggles to share husband's losses
Dear Amy: My husband is 56 and I am 31. During the five years we’ve been together, he has lost countless friends, family and acquaintances. He’s a union rep, so he knows many people, including retirees, and goes to several funerals a month. The hardest ones are obviously for his close friends or...
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Ask Amy: In-law troubles threaten to explode
Dear Amy: I have a problem with my brother’s wife. She has always been rude to me, my siblings and our parents. I have never tolerated her rudeness, so she usually just avoids me. The other day, she said something very nasty to me. I very calmly and firmly told her that I would not allow her to...
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Ask Amy: Father-in-law passes the buck
Dear Amy: Over the holidays my wife and two young children were with my wife’s family (her mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law and their two children). My sister-in-law insisted that we order take-out instead of having a home-cooked meal. We ordered in, and she paid for the meal. Days later my father-in-law...
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Ask Amy: He wonders if he's worthy rival to her phone
Dear Amy: I am a 57-year-old man dating a 49-year-old woman. We’ve been together for over a year. She is beautiful, smart, sexy and tons of fun. However, she never puts her phone down. No matter what we are doing or where we are, she is texting and answering texts from her teenage children. This...
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Ask Amy: Man resents being left off of annual letter
Dear Amy: I’m a gay male who has been in a relationship with the same man for 25 years. Both of our families have been supportive of our relationship over the years. During the Christmas holidays, we usually receive cards from my partner’s side of the family with annual letters inside. These letters...
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Ask Amy: Co-worker's bad grammar is cause for concern
Dear Amy: I have a co-worker who has terrible grammar. Sure, we all make grammar mistakes from time to time, but his is really bad all the time and people are starting to laugh at him or make glances to other team members about it when he makes presentations. I believe English is his first and...
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Ask Amy: Young dad wants more attention from his parents
Dear Amy: My sister and I both have young children (I have three kids, age 7 and younger, she has two under age 4). My sister relies heavily on my mom for child care throughout various times of the year. As such, my parents spend 90 percent more time with her kids than with ours. My wife and I...
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Ask Amy: Is it safe for mom to give toddler melatonin?
Dear Amy: Over the last couple of months, a close single-mom friend of mine has very nonchalantly mentioned that she’ll give her toddler a melatonin supplement before bedtime a few times a month so the toddler won’t wake up in the night while my friend is out partying. In my opinion, using any...
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Ask Amy: Mom wrestles with kid in the grocery aisle
Dear Amy: I have a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old. My son (age 3) really acts out when I take him shopping. I find it very stressful and hard to control him. He screams, kicks and bites me when I try to keep him in the cart. If I let him down, he runs and hides from me. Do you recommend any tactics...
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Ask Amy: Mom wrestles with kid in the grocery aisle
Dear Amy: I have a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old. My son (age 3) really acts out when I take him shopping. I find it very stressful and hard to control him. He screams, kicks and bites me when I try to keep him in the cart. If I let him down, he runs and hides from me. Do you recommend any tactics...
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Ask Amy: Impoverished parents now ask for more
Dear Amy: My parents were raised dirt-poor. They popped out baby after baby even though they couldn't afford to feed or properly house us. My folks had numerous opportunities to improve our lot in life and passed them all over. Dad was (and is) a coward when it comes to any sort of change — good...
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Ask Amy: Son's delirium causes unexpected hurt
Dear Amy: I would like your opinion on something. My son and I always had and still have a normal, loving, good relationship. Fifteen years ago, when he was 25, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. At the time, he had been married for two years to his college sweetheart. I was fortunate enough...
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Ask Amy: Bridechilla meets Momzilla
Dear Amy: I am getting married next summer and have been dealing with a ton of wedding stress. One of the major contributors to this stress is my mom. I have tried very hard to be a Bridechilla (instead of a Bridezilla), but I am getting so frustrated I don’t know what to do! I wanted to involve...
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Ask Amy: Girlfriend's smoking and sugar habit causes worry
Dear Amy: My girlfriend is very sweet and kind. She smokes and consumes way too much sugar by drinking soda. She doesn’t like to smoke around me, so she often cancels or truncates our time together, so I only get to see her for maybe an hour or two at a time. She does have a stressful job, but...
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Ask Amy: After marriage and baby, friend wants pal back
Dear Amy: I’ve been friends with a guy since high school. We’re now in our early 30s. Within the span of a year, my friend met someone, they moved in together, got married and had a child. I thought they were moving too fast at every step of the way because they were panicking. Being in their 30s...
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Ask Amy: DNA reveals half sibling; dad doesn't want to know
Dear Amy: I am one of the many who have found a half sibling through DNA testing. The birth mother never told my father that she was pregnant, and the child was put up for adoption over 50 years ago. I told my dad about this and he reacted by getting angry and stopping the conversation by telling...
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Ask Amy: House full of roommates can't keep it clean
Dear Amy: I have eight roommates (five men and three women), all living together in a large house. All of the roommates rent separately from a landlord; we are not friends sharing a house as friends (the rent is very cheap, and so is the landlord). The things that have never been resolved over...
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Ask Amy: Former flame worries about loan repayment
Dear Amy: Several years ago, I loaned $4,000 to a woman. She and I were in a romantic relationship, which had just ended. Our relationship was a positive one, but I blame myself for not becoming more involved in the lives of her children. The money was used to fund a lawsuit against her former...
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Ask Amy: Sibling frets about cultural appropriation
Dear Amy: My mother is adopted. She believed that her biological father was part Native American. As a child with lots of trauma, I understand why this may have become a part of her identity growing up. This was something she believed and passed on to my brother and me as we were growing up. I...
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Ask Amy: Mom worries about friends' compassion fatigue
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for almost five years. We have two great kids. My husband has had some mental health problems, and life has been very difficult over the last year. I have a wonderful support system, with three girlfriends in particular — all married with kids of their...
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Ask Amy: Ready to give? Here's annual charity roundup
Dear Readers: In the spirit of this “giving season,” I present my annual roundup of charitable organizations readers should consider supporting. Your donation may go further at a small local nonprofit than at a large charity. I reserve much of my own donating for local organizations that give within...
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Ask Amy: Dad wants to address son's music choice
Dear Amy: My wife and I adopted a brother and sister from Ethiopia in 2011. We were a Caucasian family of four, and the addition of two African children blended nicely. There have been no real behavioral or attachment issues with our Ethiopian children, and it feels like they have been with us...
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Ask Amy: Discerning boyfriend is no Mr. Darcy
Dear Amy: My boyfriend is extremely discerning, and I am not. When he cooks something, it’s after he’s watched 50 YouTube videos and read up on the history of the dish so that he knows the back story of every aspect of it. I enjoy cooking, but I keep it simple. Everything “Boyfriend” does has to...
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Ask Amy: Column responses that are meant to inspire
Dear Readers: I learn so much from readers who respond to questions they see in my column. I often run corrections and admonitions — because I genuinely believe they are helpful. I’ve chosen this day, however, to share some of the positive and inspiring responses I’ve received recently. Dear Amy:...