Ask Amy
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Ask Amy: Granddaughter's vulnerability elicits rude response
Dear Amy: My daughter and her friend, both freshmen in college, visited her grandparents in Florida over spring break. While my daughter was there, she was sharing vulnerably with her grandmother about how the birth control she was on was messing up her menstrual cycle and not helping her skin...
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Ask Amy: Friendship ends over dangerous liaisons
Dear Amy: I recently ended a treasured friendship that I believed would last a lifetime. We’re both 40 but late bloomers. While I got married and had a baby, she got divorced and bought her first place alone. The first thing she did was begin inviting people she’d met over the internet into her...
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Ask Amy: Terminal disease is greeted with shrugging response
Dear Amy: Three years ago I was diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. When I am sitting down, it’s not always noticeable that I have a terminal illness with a dim future. For various reasons, I have needed to tell people what I am facing. Most people who know me usually respond...
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Ask Amy: Ghosted friend struggles to cope at church
Dear Amy: Two years ago, a very close friend of 20 years ghosted me. I called, texted and emailed her and didn’t get a reply. When I ran into her weeks later and asked for an explanation, she said, “You have nothing to apologize for,” yet she couldn’t compose an explanation because “it was too...
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Ask Amy: Stepmother worries about role in new family
Dear Amy: Ever since my stepson announced his engagement to a lovely lady, his father and I have been treated like third wheels. First, my stepson told his father that he shouldn’t bother showing up at the rehearsal dinner but told us which part of the rehearsal dinner we could pay for. His mother,...
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Ask Amy: Husband's 'voyeur' addiction leading to split
Dear Amy: My husband of 25 years has an obsession with voyeur pornography. He is addicted to websites that feature women filmed without their consent or knowledge, filmed with hidden cameras, etc. My husband has shown me pictures of wives and girlfriends who have been filmed without their consent....
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Ask Amy: Beneficiary wants to avoid Lifetime role
Dear Amy: A man who I was involved with many years ago (we have remained friends) announced to me that he is making me beneficiary on his insurance policy. I am fond of him, but the relationship didn’t work out because he constantly and consistently made bad decisions throughout the time we were...
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Ask Amy: Trump fan struggles to cope at work
Dear Amy: I’m a Trump fan. I just started a new job. Every single TV at work is playing CNN, even though Fox (three times the ratings) and MSNBC (two times the ratings) have more followers. I knew this coming in. However, now I have heard one teammate consistently speak up against Trump. I, like...
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Ask Amy: Witnesses to child's distress should intervene
Dear Amy: I am perplexed by a situation my husband and I witnessed this afternoon in the downtown area of a large city we were visiting. A woman waiting for a bus held a screaming child by the neck of his T-shirt as she yelled at him. She claimed that she could not let him go or he’d run. She had...
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Ask Amy: DNA testing uncovers terrible legacy
Dear Amy: Like many others who have written to you, my sister and I recently learned that we have a half sibling (through DNA testing). Our father cheated many times before Mom finally left him. The possibility of finding another sibling was very real. What shocked us, however, was finding out...
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Ask Amy: Preacher's daughter despairs over toxic church
Dear Amy: My dad has been a preacher for 48 years, and he’s been at his current assignment for more than 20 years. My family and I attend the church he leads, but I no longer want to because of the disrespectful way the members treat my parents and my family. My dad and I have spoken about the...
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Ask Amy: Mother of the bride worries about 'mama's boy'
Dear Amy: Last week my daughter’s boyfriend asked my husband and me for permission to marry our daughter. He is a real nice guy and we feel comfortable with her marrying him. We told him so. However, I do have one concern. He sounds like he’s a mama’s boy. He says he talks with his mom daily (I’m...
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Ask Amy: Cheating is over, but pain continues
Dear Amy: My wife and I were in a relationship before we got married. At that time, she cheated on me. Only those people who have had a spouse cheat on them will understand how I felt at that time. It was the most painful time of my life. She confessed right after it happened, said she’d made a...
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Ask Amy: Couple fights over gaslighting
Dear Amy: My husband and I have a good relationship, but last night a small argument spiraled out of control. I told him that it makes me feel anxious when our lawn is the last one on the block to be mowed. Such a small thing, I know, but his response really got under my skin. First, he said that...
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Ask Amy: Forget 'tidying up,' and do some death cleaning
Dear Amy: Like many people my age, I have accumulated a lot of “stuff.” I know that (as we say in the electric power business) it’s time to “shed load.” The process is complicated by the fact that our spare bedroom and garage are so stuffed with stuff that I can barely move. I have considered moving...
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Ask Amy: Customers vape weed, cure munchies with ramen
Dear Amy: I have a favorite ramen shop that is so tiny and popular that a line often forms near the door as people wait for seats. Today, while standing in the front of that line, I noticed the folks who were dining at the table next to the door surreptitiously leaning down and exhaling smoke under...
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Ask Amy: Family mourns the temporary loss of playmates
Dear Amy: Our family had a nice Easter this year. However, when our neighbors’ extended family rolled in to have Easter dinner, our kids all had to part ways. Over holidays and during other family-related events, this happens with all of our friends who have children our age. And, in reality, I...
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Ask Amy: Wife's gambling is sucking family savings
Dear Amy: My wife has been a great wife and companion for 50-plus years, however, this last year I believe she has become heavily addicted to computer gambling. Approximately $50,000 is missing from our checking account. She is the first to leave the living room at 8 p.m. when her favorite evening...
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Ask Amy: Dating pair are on different relationship pages
Dear Amy: I have been dating “Bradley” for four months now, and I really like him. He’s the real deal, and I have been enjoying our relationship. I know he enjoys my company, too. We have agreed on exclusivity and are happy knowing that there is no one else in either of our lives. However, recently...
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Ask Amy: Mom's judgment could shackle her daughter to a loser
Dear Amy: I am the proud mom of two young adults, ages 25 and 22. I do not like or approve of my 22-year-old daughter’s boyfriend! He just does not “belong” in our family! She knew we would not approve of him because of religious/ethnic background differences. He is 25 and does not have a paying...
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Ask Amy: Mom's judgment could shackle her daughter to a loser
Dear Amy: I am the proud mom of two young adults, ages 25 and 22. I do not like or approve of my 22-year-old daughter’s boyfriend! He just does not “belong” in our family! She knew we would not approve of him because of religious/ethnic background differences. He is 25 and does not have a paying...
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Ask Amy: Parent ponders assault allegation
Dear Amy: A co-worker just told me that his college daughter was raped by my neighbor, who is also a college student. Another student at the school told his daughter that this boy had raped her, too. Neither girl pressed charges because they had no proof. My co-worker wanted me to know because...
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Ask Amy: New mother's anxiety is now consuming her
Dear Amy: I’ve always been an anxious person, but ever since I had a baby, my anxiety has skyrocketed. I am terrified all of the time. I see everything as a threat to my daughter’s health and safety, and I am always envisioning the worst-case scenario where I end up losing her. Every news story...
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Ask Amy: Frenemies don't harmonize well
Dear Amy: I think I just learned the meaning of the word “frenemy.” “Shawna’s” personality is aggressive and competitive, with a lightning-quick response to most things I say. She can also be kind and caring. We live in a major metro area, share a musical hobby and play the same instrument, which...
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Ask Amy: Husband hacks away at his marriage
Dear Amy: I’ve recently caught my husband of two years (father of our two sons) cheating. This is the fourth time I’ve caught him. The first time was just after our older son was born, 18 months ago. Our second baby is just 3 months old. Every time this happens, he claims he has been hacked. I...
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Ask Amy: Formerly chubby hubby seems too unhappy
Dear Amy: My husband has been significantly overweight most of his life. He recently lost more than 60 pounds on a very strict diet. (I have to work to stay at a healthy weight but have never been more than 10 to 15 pounds over my ideal weight). He’s much healthier now, and I’m extremely proud...
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Ask Amy: Controlling sister-in-law makes a splash at the lake
Dear Amy: I need a script and advice on how to deal with my controlling sister-in-law. Our family (four siblings) inherited a lake cabin from our parents. It has been in the family for decades. We share expenses and rotate the time that family members can use the cabin. My brother’s wife seems...
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Ask Amy: Possible stalking victim fears she may deserve it
Dear Amy: My former boss is stalking me. I left my job, and now he is frequenting my house and new workplace by driving by. I, unfortunately, had an affair with this man over 10 years ago. I realize I overstepped boundaries by having the affair with him. I also stayed in the job after the affair...
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Ask Amy: Sexy senior singleton seeks same
Dear Amy: After 25 years, my marriage reached a dead end, and I took the leap into singledom at age 63. I am now a vibrant, attractive divorced woman with a lot to offer. I look forward to spending the next chapter of my life with a special man. In the last year I’ve dated two men — both loving,...
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Ask Amy: Parenthood points and perks don't add up
Dear Amy: My husband and I met five years ago. We traveled extensively, mostly out of necessity. I worked as a consultant, traveling for work. Vacations were great because my work travel gave me point status at hotels, as well as big client bonuses. I now work from home and take care of our 1-year-old....
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Ask Amy: Former high school jerk yearns to make amends
Dear Amy: I was a very unhappy person up until my 20s. I’ll spare you the melodrama, but I didn’t grow up in the best home and had very poor social skills. After learning to manage some real anxiety and depression issues and a lot of therapy, I’ve been in a much better place for a long time. I’m...