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'Gossip Girl' recap: Memoirs of an Invisible Dan

So tonight we finally got more Chuck scenes, more Serena/Blair scenes ... and more angsty Dan scenes. Sigh.

The drama centered around the release party for Dan's new book. Ignoring the fact that "Gossip Girl" can't go an episode without a party, I was actually pretty excited to finally see Dan in the spotlight.

That is, until everything spiraled into a big mess of whining, complaining and general selfishness. If it wasn't for Chuck and his show-stealing moments, I don't think I could've made it through.

Serena was mad because Dan's book portrayed her as a shallow, self-obsessed party girl. And flighty and irresponsible. Well, let's see here. In just this season alone she didn't think twice when asked to buy her boss drugs, she made some pretty judgemental comments about the small size of Charlie's apartment and tonight she insisted on complaining to Dan instead of letting him go to Blair, whose engagement was almost ruined. Yeah, I'd say her character was pretty accurate.

Nate was bitter not because his character was gay, but because he didn't even get his own character. His was merged with Eric's. Hmmmm, maybe that's because he never does anything significant or productive. Just a guess, though.

And they finally gave Rufus more lines, but what does he do? Make a big deal out of the fact that Dan portrayed him as a trophy husband who married for money. Really? How could he possibly believe that?

Blair was the only one who dealt with her problems instead of sulking. She even gave Louis an ultimatum: finally find a way to trust her, or let her go. It's a good thing that she's the one who's pregnant. She's the only character right now that's intelligent enough to raise a child.

And then there was Chuck. He gave amazing advice to both Dan and Louis, the two people he should actually hate the most, considering their feelings for Blair. His conversation at the end with Lily was heart-breaking though. At least it seems that Dan's publicist might be a new love interest. It's not Blair, but Chuck deserves to be happy more than anyone else on the show.

MORE HIGHLIGHTS FROM "MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE DAN":

MOST CRINGE-WORTHY MOMENT: Easily goes to the Dan and Blair make-out. It wasn't real, thank goodness, but it was still extremely disturbing.

DUMBEST QUOTE: "An heir to a kingdom lives within me." Yes, I know I just said that Blair is the most intelligent character. I'm trying to pretend this quote never happened.

SECOND DUMBEST QUOTE: "I never know with you, and that's a problem." First of all, why did Louis propose if he didn't think he knew Blair? Second of all, why is this only just now becoming a problem?

MOST CLEAVAGE: Finally, Serena wins! She had me fooled with the high-neck yellow dress she was wearing earlier in the show, but her scoop-neck tank at the end brought back memories of the old days. The brown sequin skirt didn't make it any better.

BEST SCHEME: It hasn't happened yet. But whatever Diana has planned for Nate and Charlie is going to be huge. I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.

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