'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' recap: Episode 6

So apparently back in 1999, Sweet Dee Reynolds convinced the Gang to build a bunker to store supplies in preparation for Y2K. After the mass hysteria passed, and computers did NOT take over the world, the bunker was utilized for alternative purposes.

Dennis has been bringing women down to the bunker for recreational activities, while Charlie has been surviving on their dried food products.

When the “Storm of the Century” hits the East Coast, Mac, Charlie and Dennis head to the makeshift Walmart, to supply the bunker while Dee boards up the windows and Frank eats a boiled egg in his pocket.

True Motives – Mac, Dennis and Charlie find themselves captivated with Jackie Denardo, a local news station reporter with massive fake breasts. Denardo reports live from the All-American Home Center (aka Walmart) to provide a media frenzy on the storm, which Frank does not buy. Charlie, Mac and Dennis look forward to the idea of meeting her and possibly investing in a 3D TV to “enhance” their viewing experience.

Ancient Civilization History – Concerned with 2012 predictions on the Mayan Calendar, Charlie voices his concerns that the “Mexicans” have predicted the world’s end. The Gang, in an attempt to educate Charlie, reminds him that the Mexican people and the Mayans are not exactly the same. Dennis believes the Mexicans killed the Mayans, while Frank, so eloquently, puts it best: stating the Spaniards “banged” the Mayans and eventually produced the modern Mexican "race."

What, Racism? No way … Dee and Frank Discuss the definition of looting. Frank, utilizing YouTube, shows Dee videos between the early '90s LA Riots and Hurricane Katrina. With Frank’s belief that looters are labeled unfairly based off their color, Dee learns that Frank was a part of a looting mob in the LA Race Riots.

Whoulda Thunk it? Dennis’ player status has been on hold all season. Unsuccessful in his attempts to bring back single women to the bunker, Dennis sets his sights on his fantasy local news lady – Miss Jackie Denardo. He also draws an affidavit to have women declare their single status.

Charlie’s Plan to Repopulate the World – Dennis would breed with Jackie Denardo to begin a race of big-breasted humans. Charlie would sleep with their daughters while Dennis slept with his daughters. Charlie would then crossbreed with Dennis’ granddaughters, while Dennis did the same, and so on.

Bad Things Happen to Those Who Know the Gang – While sneaking around the bunker looking for dried foods, Cricket, everybody’s favorite homeless person, is shot in the hand by Frank. Afraid that hospitals euthanize homeless people, Cricket refuses to go to the hospital. Dee and Frank take him anyway.

Mac’s Idea of News – Watching the Spanish Channel Weathergirl, Evita Sanchez … in 3D.

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