'The Bachelorette' finale recap, Emily picks her mate

Something "surprising," "shocking" and "unbelievable" is supposed to happen during tonight's finale.

I can think of a few things that could be described by those adjectives, like Jef with one f revealing he has a pregnant girlfriend back home or Arie ("Speed Racer") punching Chris Harrison in the face when he finds out he had an affair with Emily.

But I doubt any of those are going to happen. More likely, Emily will dump both of them or they'll dump her. That's not shocking, it's just good TV. 

Jef with one f meets Emily's family

Sarah: Why does Jef show up to meet her family in jeans and white T-shirt? I know you're on a laid back island, but at least put on a polo and a real pair of shoes. Jef tells Emily's father that he plans to propose and asks for his blessing. Mitch grants him permission, but it's hardly a blessing. Though Jef ignores this fact and mentions this blessing every time he's in front of the camera.

Chris: Emily's looks obviously came from her mother, who has either aged well or bought her face. Good thing she didn't inherit her father's whiskey nose. Her brother got the short end of the stick on that deal.

Arie needs an out

Sarah: Arie rambles through the entire family meeting and his facial expressions suggest that he’s pooped his pants and is trying to hide it. Now that it's getting serious, I feel like he's trying to get out of it. But, when he asks her dad for his blessing, he gets it. I think they liked him better, even if he did give them the strangest, most unwanted gift in Bachelorette history: A box full of the dead roses from the previous rose ceremonies.

Chris: Emily's family obviously wasn't jaded from their last experience with Brad. They are all pushovers and immediately approve of Arie, even though he had shifty eyes the whole time.

Jef meets Ricki

Sarah: While on the beach, sans picnic, Jef expresses doubt in their relationship because he hasn't met Ricki. Emily was all "no, you can't meet my kid," one minute and the next, she's like, "OK, let's go meet her." His excitement is a bit much and he needs to tone down his adoration for Ricki before someone thinks he's a perv. Also, asking for a high-five is a dead giveaway that you have no idea how to handle kids.

Chris: Here's a great way to introduce a guy to your kid: Let him creep on her from afar for a few minutes.  Why is Jef acting like it's an honor to meet Ricki? She's not the Queen of England. OMG! Did you see the two high-fives between them? They relate so well!

The not really 'surprising,' 'shocking' or 'unbelievable' part

Sarah: After an emergency meeting with Chris Harrison to discuss her options, Emily reveals that she wants to be with Jef, though she's scheduled for a date with Arie momentarily. While Arie is busy putting together a love potion (seriously), Emily shows up in tears. He doesn't notice and tries to get their date rolling. Then she dumps him and cries more. He does what any normal dude would do and gives her a hug, says goodbye and leaves. This is not good enough for her and she chases him and cries some more. Not sure what she was expecting. 

Chris: What if Arie's date was first and he was the one to meet Ricki? Did the producers choose the fate of the two men by sending Jef on the first date? To be honest, when she called the meeting, I was hoping she was going to choose Chris Harrison as her future husband.

The big proposal

Sarah: This was a lot of different than the past proposals and I didn't like it. First, it happened in the middle of town and not on the edge of a cliff. Second, she immediately told him that she wanted to be with him. The best part of these proposals is when the guy is pouring his heart out without knowing if she feels the same. This one was super anti-climatic.

Chris: Much like she did with the meeting Ricki situation, Emily changes her mind from not wanting to be engaged to reluctantly accepting Jef's proposal. When Peter Cetera's "Glory of Love" came on, I thought I had fallen asleep and woken up to "The Karate Kid, Part II." Instead it was just a bad montage of how two strangers can fall in love over the course of eight weeks.

After the final rose

Sarah: I was surprised to hear that Arie flew to Charlotte to talk to Emily for closure or a "new beginning." He ended up just calling her on the phone and leaving his journal on her door step. Kind of creepy and weird, considering that I didn't think he really cared about her anyway. I can't believe we just watched a whole hour of Jef sucking Emily's face off. I was waiting for the surprising, shocking and unbelievable part.

Chris: This is so boring.

Copyright © 2019, The Baltimore Sun, a Baltimore Sun Media Group publication | Place an Ad