While most of America was watching the latest Republican debate, I watched "America’s Next Top Model" so you wouldn’t have to miss out on this week's dramz.
Like last week, Frederick-native Nyle is a pretty major focus of the episode. In particular, he shares his feelings of isolation in a house full of hearing people. He tells us that he’s the popular one in his group of friends, but he’s not sure how to handle being with hearing people 24/7. Especially ones that spend a majority of their time yelling at each other.
A highlight, though, is Nyle’s translator translating Tyra’s message to Nyle in the Tyra suite. He not only translates Tyra’s words, but he brings the FIERCE. He deserves some snaps.
This week’s theme is the idea of models crossing over to acting. The models are brought to the CW studios to compete for a walk-on role in a scripted CW series. But first Kelly Cutrone tells them that many models have successfully transitioned into acting, and rattles off a list of former "ANTM" contestants who have done so. I don’t recognize any of the names or faces, so I’m skeptical.
The models are divided into partners and given a “Shakespearean” script to perform together. Bello is an actor, apparently, so he focuses on memorizing his lines.
Meanwhile, Devin thinks he’s hiLARious and focuses on being “funny.”
So, to set the stage, the scene is about a princess who loves a man who is in love with his horse, and the models, dressed like Medieval Times rejects, have to perform this goofball script in front of CW talent executives.
It’s like Tyra is playing a joke on them. Or us.
Also, none of these models have ever seen or heard the word “bequeathed” before. My favorite pronunciation of the night is “bequithered.”
And of course, Bello forgets his lines, and seemingly forgets where he is.
Then Courtney, trainwreck that she is, curses whenever she forgets a line, which is about every 10 seconds.
Mikey shares an astute comment on Courtney to the camera, saying “It’s hard to help someone who won’t help themselves.”
Lacey performs surprisingly well, despite her accent, which the CW exec says needs to go. Devin just cracks himself up throughout the whole scene, making both him and his partner Ashley look bad.
CW lady says multiple times that Devin’s lack of professionalism makes her angry. How dare he not take the CW seriously!?!
But Lacey wins the challenge, making her childhood dreams of becoming an actress come true. Although I’m sure a walk-on role is basically the same as an extra, right? Am I missing something?
Back at the house, we’re talking about Nyle’s isolation again. But then someone knocks on the door, and it’s Nyle’s best friend aka his high school ex-girlfriend. Lacey is jealous. Womp.
I know what you’re thinking, “Finally, someone Nyle can sign with!” But really, she’s there to help teach the house ASL and a lesson in empathy.
The real star of the show, Nyle’s translator tells the models that they’re going to play a game where no one can speak for an hour. After an hour of flailing their arms about, the models finally understand that being disabled is hard.
"Sorry, Nyle," the models say in unison.
We’re at the beach for the elimination photo shoot, but this week, the models are shooting a Calvin Klein-esque deodorant commercial, complete with white shirts and denim.
The commercial is for Tyra’s made up Boom Boom Boom Deodorant, because she calls guys’ abs “boom boom booms.” Don’t worry, it gets even more cringe-worthy.
The models are divided into partners again, and this time they’re going to get sexy along the shore just like Sandy and Danny in the first 10 minutes of Grease. The guys’ line in this commercial is, “Smell my fierce, feel my boom.”
You can thank Tyra for that gem.
Mikey and Mamé are paired up, and since Mamé feels like Justin is pulling away from their blossoming relationship, she decides to make him jealous. Let’s just say Mamé and Mikey got a little too into making out on the beach.
But then Justin is like two can play that game, and he decides to show emotion for once. He gets paired up with Hadassah, who, given her history with Mamé, is feeling super awkward about having to kiss Justin.
Justin brings his A game and feels up Hadassah like a professional, prompting Mamé to tell the camera, “We don’t even do that and we’re, you know, going at it.”
Then, it’s time for Bello and Courtney, and once again, Courtney rides the struggle bus throughout her whole shoot. Bello and Courtney running along the ocean is basically Bello dragging a whimpering Courtney, who I’m pretty sure is not a runner. Instead of sexy romping in the ocean, Courtney basically drowns and drags Bello under with her.
Yu Tsai says, “It’s so awkward watching Bello and Courtney run.”
You’re telling me, brother.
But by the end of the day, Mamé and Justin have finally figured out that they like like each other. All it took was watching each other make out with other people.
At the elimination, Tyra tells the contestants that being a model is about being uncomfortable, but not looking like it.
Unfortunately, cool guy Mikey fails horribly at this, shivering uncontrollably in his and Mamé's commercial.
We also see that Lacey and Devin are the best runners of the group, actually making what looks like a real commercial. Except when Devin speaks. “Devin, please don’t do this professionally,” says Kelly Cutrone. Ouch.
Bello brings Kelly Cutrone an apple, which I thought was a sneaky way of calling her a wicked witch, but it was because she called his face a “dehydrated apple” last week. But the joke’s on him, because he actually gave her a NECTARINE.
Life is hard, you guys.
Then the judges ask Bello how the shoot went, and he says that it was difficult because Courtney kept crying.
"I was NOT crying," she says, "...I was whining."
But surprisingly, the judges like their commercial, and neglect to comment on Courtney’s shifty eyes at the end.
Lacey wins the best photo of the week. Then Tyra tells Courtney, “The world is not going to be as forgiving as we were this week.”
But then it’s down to Ashley and Devin, and even though Devin was the one who screwed up the challenge by basically laughing in the CW exec’s face, Ashley takes the fall and is sent home.
Next week, we find out that Hadassah owns over 300 dolls. Even though I don’t find this surprising, I need to know more!