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'The Bachelor' recap: The best moments from The Women Tell All

“The Women Tell All” special from this season of “The Bachelor” aired Sunday night and … oh, you didn’t know? We didn’t either until about 15 minutes beforehand. Get better at tagging tune-in, ABC.

“The Women Tell All” features highlights from the season, and lets women speak their peace to each other and the Bachelor. It’s all the best parts of the season packed into one episode. Maybe next season we’ll just watch this episode and skip the rest. Here are our fave moments from the WTA.

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#glamshaming and #bumpercartrauma

If you don’t have Twitter (and if you do, follow Leigh at @leighcmcdonald so she can feel important) you won’t understand why they made these topics such a big deal. But apparently Marikh is still so mad at Chelsea for questioning her grooming on a date that she won’t accept her apology weeks later. They are milking these formerly trending hashtags for all they’re not worth.

And even though they show clips of Annaliese’s “bumper car trauma” from the demolition derby date earlier in the season, the contestant is nowhere to be found. Too bad. She’d be great on “Bachelor in Paradise.”

Krystal shaming

You guys, the women HATE Krystal. When they pull her into the hot seat, we actually start to feel pretty bad for the girl. Yeah, she was a TV villain, but we don’t think that she deserves to sit on national television while 20 women pick apart everything they don’t like about her. They even criticize the way she talks (OK, fair) and Krystal tries to say she lost her voice during the taping of the show … for six weeks?? Yeah, right.

They do give us some behind-the-scenes footage of Krystal calling Arie “fancy-pants” and a “bleep bleep” (we will never know what she said!). Caroline, the hybrid real estate agent/model who we can’t believe didn’t even make it to the halfway mark of the season, had a little bit too much champagne before the “WTA” and gets super passionate in her Krystal shaming. Caroline is clearly taking her “Paradise” audition very seriously. Can’t wait to see her in a few months.

Bekah’s mom knows where she is

And they finally set all those pot farm rumors to rest … by confirming that they’re true! When Bekah got the boot from Arie, she ran away to a pot farm without telling her mother (which is the real crime) and she was reported missing. Chris Harrison, who can’t get enough of the age thing, takes it a step and a sprint further by calling Bekah’s mom on national television. Is there anything more infantilizing? And of course, Bekah gets an invite to “Paradise.”

Caroline’s ominous warning

We get confirmation that Caroline is drunk when she almost spoils what happens at the end of the season. She tells Arie, “I know what you did, and I don’t know how you could do that.” Arie responds, “I think that will play out in the weeks to come.” Couldn’t be more ambiguous if they tried, but hey, we’re desperate for new material.

Thank you Caroline for not being able to keep your mouth shut, and for delivering the only real drama in this two-hour special that is really a glorified recap.

“Merp”

During the bloopers, we find out that Arie utters the word/ sound “merp” when he gets tongue-tied. We are #progressive and #toxicmasculinity-denying recappers, but we can’t help feeling like there is something about this nervous habit that is just so unsexy. Don’t worry, Arie, your recent sass on Twitter redeems you.

Same time tomorrow for fantasy suites!

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