Anyone who is thoroughly confused by tonight's events, please raise your hand.
The episode began with Nate asking Diana to go public about being a couple. Tell me if I'm wrong, but since when does winking across the room and hooking up on desks constitute as a real relationship? I always think Nate can't possibly get any dumber, but he always proves me wrong. Every time. Side note, guess where he wanted to make the big announcement? A party … of course.
Elsewhere, Dan continued to whine and complain. He made it on the best seller list, but then he griped about Jane wanting to re-write his movie. And then, in a weird series of events that made absolutely no sense, he gave up his rights to the script because he "trusted" Serena and thought she would protect his work. Right, because they didn't just get out of a huge argument. And she's never screwed anything up before. Ever.
Meanwhile, Blair is having tryouts in order to choose her bridesmaids? I'm trying really hard to feel sorry for her for not having close enough friends in the first place, but seriously? The only reason I semi-approved of this is because Charlie ended up kissing Nate as part of the competition. And as much as I hate Nate, I think he and Charlie would be cute together. What would that be … Chate? Narlie? Hmm, not bad.
I'm pretty sure we saw more of Chuck tonight than we have all season. And it was awesome. Louis was paying Dr. Barnes to make Chuck even more emotionally unstable, just to ensure that Blair would never go back to him. After figuring that out, Chuck spilled the beans in front of everyone at the party. But after Dr. Barnes pointed out that he was willing to let Blair go without her help, he showed up to Blair's place to apologize for everything he put her through. It was probably the most touching moment so far this season ... and that's hard to say about "Gossip Girl."
MORE HIGHLIGHTS FROM "I AM NUMBER NINE"
DUMBEST CONVERSATION: Diana- "You need to trust me." Nate- "No, I need to rethink this relationship." Well, this would have been fine. If he actually rethought the relationship. Instead he moped around, tried to make Diana jealous by kissing Charlie and then he threw down an ultimatum. Diana announced they were a couple though, so at least he got what he wanted. Sigh.
WORST DRESS: Let's take a minute to talk about Blair's party dress. It looked like a sparkly red sack. I know she's supposed to be pregnant, but come on.
BEST THROW-DOWN: After Nate and Charlie kissed, Diana walked over, unfazed, to point out to Nate that Charlie only did it to win Blair's challenge, and to reveal to Charlie that she was the one Nate was seeing. Burn.
BEST WTF MOMENT: So Chuck just gave Dr. Barnes his million dollar engagement ring for Blair and asked her to donate it or something. Right. And then, when she ended up giving it back to him, he just left it on the step outside the jewelers. Because that makes sense.