Your official 2014 Emmy Awards drinking game

If you're a fan of awards shows, drinking isn't required to get through the three-hour self-celebration that is the Emmy Awards. But it sure makes it more fun.

And if you're either not a big awards show person (or perhaps forced to watch for some reason), we want to help you out a bit.

Here's our official drinking game for Monday's ceremony (8 p.m., NBC). And if you need to, feel free to blame us for taking a personal day on Tuesday.

TAKE A DRINK IF

• Host Seth Meyers makes an ill-advised joke referencing "Orange is the New Black" and race relations.

• Matthew McConaughey makes a bizarre reference to the universe, God or "living life" or in his Best Actor acceptance speech.

• Every time the word "Heisenberg" is used.

• A selfie happens. Ironically or not.

• Tina Fey/Amy Poehler cameo in a skit!

• Tina Fey/Amy Poehler are funnier in their skit than Meyers is for the whole show.

• Jessica Lange allows a smile. Or a smirk.

• Kerry Washington is described as either "stunning" or "perfection" in the red carpet pre-show.

• Timely health care website joke!

TAKE A SHOT IF

• Someone says, "Wait, they died?!" during the In Memoriam segment.

• Jim Parsons wins for both "The Big Bang Theory" and "The Normal Heart."

• Awkward joke involving some sort of variation on the following: "We're outlawing gay marriage when we should be outlawing marriage on 'Game of Thrones!'"

• Maggie Smith finally makes it to the ceremony this year.

• Self-deprecating reference to last year's death-heavy ceremony.

• Christina Hendricks outdoes herself in the cleavage department this year.

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• Outdated reference to Lena Dunham's "Girls" nudity.

• Someone admits to watching "Shameless" and/or "Episodes."

FINISH YOUR DRINK IF

• You cry during the Robin Williams tribute.

• Kevin Spacey thanks Bill Clinton and Paul Ryan in his Best Actor acceptance speech.

• Any acting win for "Downton Abbey."

• There's a skit combining the casts of "Game of Thrones" and "Orange is the New Black."

• Pre-planned Best Actress in a Comedy bit with Julia-Louis Dreyfus and Amy Poehler.