If you're a fan of awards shows, drinking isn't required to get through the three-hour self-celebration that is the Emmy Awards. But it sure makes it more fun.And if you're either not a big awards show person (or perhaps forced to watch for some reason), we want to help you out a bit.Here's our official drinking game for Monday's ceremony (8 p.m., NBC). And if you need to, feel free to blame us for taking a personal day on Tuesday.• Host Seth Meyers makes an ill-advised joke referencing "Orange is the New Black" and race relations.• Matthew McConaughey makes a bizarre reference to the universe, God or "living life" or in his Best Actor acceptance speech.• Every time the word "Heisenberg" is used.• A selfie happens. Ironically or not.• Tina Fey/Amy Poehler cameo in a skit!• Tina Fey/Amy Poehler are funnier in their skit than Meyers is for the whole show.• Jessica Lange allows a smile. Or a smirk.• Kerry Washington is described as either "stunning" or "perfection" in the red carpet pre-show.• Timely health care website joke!• Someone says, "Wait, they died?!" during the In Memoriam segment.• Jim Parsons wins for both "The Big Bang Theory" and "The Normal Heart."• Awkward joke involving some sort of variation on the following: "We're outlawing gay marriage when we should be outlawing marriage on 'Game of Thrones!'"• Maggie Smith finally makes it to the ceremony this year.• Self-deprecating reference to last year's death-heavy ceremony.• Christina Hendricks outdoes herself in the cleavage department this year.• Outdated reference to Lena Dunham's "Girls" nudity.• Someone admits to watching "Shameless" and/or "Episodes."• You cry during the Robin Williams tribute.• Kevin Spacey thanks Bill Clinton and Paul Ryan in his Best Actor acceptance speech.• Any acting win for "Downton Abbey."• There's a skit combining the casts of "Game of Thrones" and "Orange is the New Black."• Pre-planned Best Actress in a Comedy bit with Julia-Louis Dreyfus and Amy Poehler.