'Weeds' recap: Episode 5, 'Red in Tooth and Claw'

Shane's packing heat in episode five.
Shane's packing heat in episode five.(Showtime)

Jill is stuck in a mountain of coupons, too busy to see her stepson becoming a television zombie. When Nancy begs Jill to go back to screwing Andy, we have to agree with her.

Shane approaches Uncle Andy for some guidance about his girlfriend Angela, but ends with asking if Jill is good in bed. Perhaps this family has been living together for too long.


Shane then accuses Silas of being romantically involved with his growing buddy RJ, foreshadowing events to come.

The youth soccer team Nancy is trying to get Stevie on is demanding donations from Nancy. Suburban soccer leagues are now intimidating a woman who in the past took down the DEA and Bulgarian mafia in the same year.

At the suggestion of Uncle Andy, Shane asks his love interest out on a double date during their shooting practice.

Andy shows up to a roller rink only to find a naked woman rollerblading. Apparently he earned the female attention even though he is not base-line attractive. He claims to be good and kind and humble in an incoherent Buddhist rant clearly fueled by despair over losing both Nancy and her sister.

Stevie is being targeted by racist stay-at-home dads who are jealous that the new comer was a powerhouse and beat their kids at soccer. Nancy then promises the team a donation despite being broke.

RJ comes onto Silas by saying he could provide Silas a service in a friendly manner without being clingy like a girl. Silas is greatly turned off by this and embarrasses his only friend.

According to a septum pierced bleached blonde roller skank, Andy talks too much about the women in his life. I cling to the possibility that Andy will never get over Nancy.

Nancy tries to leave Kiku but instead almost ends up with one of the four-eyed cronies who last season almost attacked Nancy and Jill at Dmitri's.


Shane takes Angela on a double date with his corrupt cop mentor and judges a beer chugging contest. It seems that the first date is an epic fail until out on the fire escape, Shane and his girlfriend get frisky.

Jill and her ponytails admit to trying to fill a hole in her heart with extraordinary savings. Poor timing since Andy is fresh off a romp at the roller rink; being Honest Andy, he confesses his indiscretions to Jill.

Jill proceeds to guilt trip Andy and then (literally and figuratively) turning around and getting it from Doug.

Kiku leaves Nancy with no money, but a ton of boring hippie drugs. This could either be a great and wondrous trip down memory lane, or a dangerous option to Nancy.

Nancy bonds with the rabbi who owns the pool she keeps skinny dipping in. Not only is he cute, but also he promises her endless chances to be new in her Jewish baptism.

He says what has been such an obvious and easy answer for so many seasons: Just don’t. Just don’t keep making the decisions that get her and the family into horrible situations.


RJ turned out to be crazy after Silas turns him down and in an act of romantic revenge steals Silas' plants. Is this saving Silas from himself?

Taking the rabbi's advice, Nancy throws the weed into a wood chipper. Maybe by the end, the entire family will be broke because no one knows how to hold down a job.