Nan is finally fed up with the telemarketers blowing up her cell
Nan is finally fed up with the telemarketers blowing up her cell (HBO)

Just a few shockers in tonight's episode. And that includes the wink-wink product placement for 1-800-DENTIST.

WOAH, THAT OPENING: The best overall three minutes of this above-average episode were the first three. We're right back where we left off, at the now-ironically titled Festival of Tolerance.

Total carnage and badass-ness. Eric goes after Bill, random vamps go after hapless humans (especially the one who screams, "We're on your side!"), Nan stabs a spellbound vamp in the neck. "Here comes death" Eric yells to Bill as he holds some sort of spear in his hand. And did anyone spot that banner for 1-800-DENTIST. Oh, vampire dental care.

"No more!!!" That would be Sookie. And yeah, those lights shoots out of her hands and are more powerful than ever, throwing Eric off Bill. More surprising was Marnie/Antonia uttering "Broken." Yep, after all the struggle to get that spell off Eric, Sookie does it when two big flashes of her hand.

I'm not sure when the series is going to get around to explaining all of Sookie's powers. We know that most come from her Fairy blood, but there's got to be more there, right? Apparently, she can no reserve the combined power of an experienced witch and a 16th-century necromancer.

Loved the look in Eric's eyes though when the spell was broken. His eyes show it all -- he's back, the memories have flooded back. And he looks directly at Sookie.

A bit later, we learn if new Eric is going to be like old Eric. Apparently, no. "I haven't changed, I'm just more," Eric explains to a skeptical Sookie. Not sure I exactly followed what that meant, but, aww, Eric still says "I love you" multiple times.

The only issue? Bill. Again. "When you were about to kill him, I just couldn't bear the thought of a world without him," Sookie tells Eric about her still-there devotion to Bill. "I love you. I don't want to lie to you. But I can't help it. I love him, too."

Sookie-Bill-Eric love triangle -- maintained. Even New Eric being like Old Nice Eric but still Badass Seasons 1-3 Eric isn't enough for Sookie to get over Bill.

PRIORITIES?: Nan reacting to the massacre at Shreveport? "Bill. Image." She actually said this with blood all over her Jackie O dress. No wonder Bill tells her later that she shouldn't be in power any longer.

R.I.P. TOMMY: Tommy Mickens has never been my favorite character. The subplot last year about the Mickens clan and dogfighting and if Tommy and Sam would ever be brothers? Boring. But his unexpected (like, really really unexpected) death at the hands of a beating by Marcus and his crew was touching and sad.

"You were the best part of my life," Tommy tells Sam on his deathbed (actually a deathpooltable).

Even my housemate was touched, and he doesn't normally watch the show. Or care. One question, though: What are they going to do with Tommy? Alcide and Sam just sort-of left. Burial next episode?

WORST POSSIBLE POST-SEX INTERACTION: Sigh, Jessica and Jason. Not only did Jason actually ask to be glamoured so he can forget all that happened (OK, it was so he won't feel guilty about Hoyt. But still, not cool to Jessica). But Jessica wrapped things up with this line: "F---ing humans. I'm going to go find someone to eat."


MARNTONIA: TWO BECOME ONE: One of the best scenes of the episode featured a surreal convo between Marnie and Antonia. Antonia, apparently, has human feelings, and didn't like seeing the innocent victims at the Festival of Tolerance.

So she expels herself from Marnie's body to say, "Look, this is not cool." Surprise! Marnie herself is now on board to destroy all vampires.

"We are a communion of souls," Marnie tells Antonia. "I know you feel it, too. Fate brought us together, to fight evil."

That's stalker talk, Marnie! And yet, it does the trick. Antonia repossesses Marnie and suddenly Marntonia is even more powerful.

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?: You've got to admire Jesus' kill-them-with-kindness theories. Along with Lafayette, Sookie and Eric, he goes to town to attempt to infiltrate the Moon Goddess Emporium.

One huge force-field (and Jesus morphing into a scary Mexican-witch figure we saw last season in the flashbacks about Jesus' witchy family), Jesus makes it into MoonG. He tries to swee-talk Antonia. No dice. Then asks to speak to Marnie. Nice try. But Marnie reveals (albeit sweetly, and in a Southern accent), that she's adamant. "You think this is agains't my will?" she says with a smile.

Jesus telepathically tells Sookie that Marnie "has flipped sides." Thankfully, Tara and Holly have been working on a spell to try to escape her clutches.

Despite not being able to speak Latin, whatever spell they found works, and they run outside, with Marntonia trailing behind. They meet up with Sookie, Lafayette and Eric, but Marntonia does her spell thing and the vanish. Next-episode preview shows all of them inside Moon Goddess.

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE SEASON: Tara: "Yeah, I've got some rage."

BACK IN BLACK: Now that 3/4 of the cast is stuck in MoonG, who'll save the day? Bill, Eric, Pam and Jessica. Wearing all black. Walking in slow motion. Carrying a grenade launcher. About to torch the place. Next week can't come soon enough. Glad they ignored Nan's feeling that "Blowing up Moon Goddess Emporium is not a 21st-century solution."

INTERVENTION, BELLEFLEUR STYLE: While the Andy Bellefleur V-addiction subplot seemed extremely misplaced in this dramatic, bloody episode, it had some funny moments.

Apparently, there is a place called Fort Bellefleur. PTSD Vietnam Vet Terry used to hang out here. It's a treehouse. It's where Terry brings his cousin, Andy, for an intervention.

Still following? Yeah, it's weird. I'm not trying to tell Terry how to run a Fort Bellefleur intervention, but perhaps showing Andy that he can't shoot guns straight isn't the best protocol?

Either way, he gets to Andy's heart, but only after Andy reveals some odd family issues (my favorites: "My mama ran off with a Yankee race car driver"). "This is what rock bottom feels like," Terry tells Andy. Jeff VanVonderen would be proud.

MOST PREDICTABLE PLOT TWIST: Marcus putting the moves on Debbie. Looks like Sam and Alcide have a mutual enemy.

LAFAYETTE'S 58TH HAIRDO OF THE SEASON: Short-style cornrows with beads. Google Stevie Wonder's album cover for "Hotter Than July" and take off 5 inches.

BEST QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "No drugs for me. Except for the antipsychotics." -- Terry Bellefleur.

Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. Email him at or follow him on Twitter, @jordanbartel

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