Man, those judges on "The Voice" did some major work tonight, scooping up more talented hopefuls as we endured (enjoyed?) another week of blind auditions. I seem to have forgotten that this show is a marathon, not a sprint – but we're so close to finishing the first stretch of the race.
Next week's the last week of the blind auditions. Then we get to the battle rounds. And just in case you're thinking this show takes itself too seriously (which it does), I offer the continued appearance of Cee Lo Green's cat, Purrfect, as whimsical balance.
Jonathas, a Brazilian-born crooner who taught himself English by listening to music. His take on Usher's "U Got It Bad" had Blake whispering "He's gotta be good lookin'" and Cee Lo proclaiming that he really did think it was Usher singing -- that's how good Jonathas was. Agree to disagree, Cee Lo.
Monique Benabou, 23, who sang "Mr. Know It All" and is in general, a big bundle of curls and curves and adorableness.
Anthony Evans, 33, from Dallas. He's the son of a preacher-man (I just wanted to type that, I'm sorry) and had struggled in the past between defining himself as a gospel singer or as a contemporary Christian musician. His take on Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On" makes it seem that he could easily do both.
Ashley De La Rosa. Aside from her awesome name and equally awesome take on "Shark in the Water," we don't know too much about this one yet. We're not free of the clipped montages of winners and losers just yet.
Ten down on Team Christina, two to go.
Street performer Naia Kete, 21 and dreadlocked (the entire family's dreadlocked – mom, younger brother, everyone, and it's just lovely). Her cover of Bruno Mars' "The Lazy Song" had Blake and Cee Lo turn, with Christina noting that the texture of Naia's voice is remarkably similar to last year's runner-up (and Team Blake contestant) Dia Frampton.
Charlotte Sometimes, 23, from New Jersey. Her sob story was something along the lines of "I had a jaw disease and didn't think I would sing again," which is just bizarre. And Charlotte "Sometimes"? Who are you the rest of the time? But goodness, is her voice odd and lovely.
Jordan Rager, again a victim of clipped editing and brief montages. I can't remember a darn thing about his performance, other than it happened, but Blake called him "real country."
And another edited-down performance of Pink's "Just Like a Pill" by someone named ALyX who I'm sure is all kinds of cool and edgy.
Only two more spots to fill on Team Blake.
Team Cee Lo
Tony Vincent, 38, and a Broadway veteran whose credits include stagings of "Rent," "Jesus Christ Superstar" and "American Idiot." He's worked extensively with Queen, so the cover of "We are the Champions" wasn't too much of a surprise.
Jamie Lono, who makes sandwiches at Potbellys and who just looks absolutely flabbergasted he's even on the show. His take on "Folsom Prison Blues" had Adam's chair spinning before Jamie could even really get into it. Elbows tucked into his sides, both hands gripping the mic, Jamie just says "I make sandwiches for a living." While Adam promised him "I'll make sure you never have to make a sandwich again," he went with Cee Lo. Who clearly eats a lot of sandwiches, so I'm sure that'll be a good match.
Justin Hopkins, 30, who used to be in the Carson Daly House Band. A) Well, we all know how he got onto this show. B) In what lifetime did Carson Daly have a house band? I forgave the Carson Daly connection, however, the minute Justin started singing David Gray's "Babylon."
Three slots still open on Team Cee Lo.
Nicolle Galyon, from Nashville, wants to be the first "piano girl" in country music. She got a little … hmm, breathless? when Adam turned his chair, prompting Blake to tease him later: "No, man, I understand it. You make me giddy. You make me fall apart." The bromance these two have makes the world a better place.
Karla Davis. Another country girl from Nashville, and another victim of the too-short performance. Her cover of "If I Die Young" sounded pretty charming, though.
Mathai, 18, from Dallas. This is why this show is awesome. Tiny little unassuming people with awesome voices. Mathai's entire family consists of either doctors or nurses, and she laments that her mother has a tough time explaining that her daughter isn't in school, doesn't have a career, etc. I wouldn't worry too much, Mom. Your kid's got a set of pipes. I mean, she covered Adele. That's tough.
Two more spots on Team Adam.
Dan Auerbach doesn't dance when he sings "Tighten Up." Which means if you plan on auditioning with a Black Keys song, you shouldn't either.
At no point, if auditioning, should you say, "I need this to happen." You won't make the cut, and all that footage will do is give the editors the power of foreshadowing. Don't give them that power, blind auditioners. You know better.