Welcome to a brand-new season with the O.G.s of the O.C.! It's all back: the big hair, the big boobs and of course, the Botox. And the ladies are opening big. They've been feuding for years and openly planting stories about each other in the press, and now, this season begins with Gretchen getting GretchenChristineBeauté-fied to meet Tamra for lunch. But before we get into that …
Yes, we all love the drama, but don't sleep on the best part – the taglines! Every couple of seasons, the ladies get to change that one sentence that they think sums up their lives. No matter what happens on the show, and no matter how much they want to blame the producers or editing, this little tidbit is their own creation and they have no one to blame but themselves. Let's analyze, shall we?
Tamra Barney "I call the shots in my life now, and I have good aim."
We'll see. But I doubt it.
Vicki Gunvalson "My tank is full and I'm driving into my future."
I am actually happy for Vicki getting out of a dead-end relationship, but for Pete's sake, someone needs to tell her to stop talking about her "love tank"!
Alexis Bellino "I thank God every day for my life – and you would too!"
Weellllll…probably not. But do you, Alexis? Do you?
Heather Dubrow
"I may be married to a plastic surgeon, but I'm 98% real."
Uhhhh, no. I know she is going for charmingly self-deprecating here, but…no.
Gretchen Rossi
"Don't call me a princess. Call me the boss!"
Say what you will about Gretchen, but the girl's a hustler. She's the kind of girl who, when life handed her lemons, she stuffed them in her bra and shimmied her way to the top. You know what? I think I will call her the boss!
OK, back to the show. Over mojitos, Gretchen and Tamra agree to a tentative truce. Slade, who has taken the brunt of Tamra's abuse, has, understandably, a major issue with the forging of their friendship.